Issue. 9 What If They Were Us?
What's up, Breakfast Ballers? We hope you cruised through another busy week and are ready to sit back, relax and dig in to some pipin' hot content we cooked up this morning.
Every week, we marvel at PGA studs competing for millions of dollars, like DJ doing the Northern Trust limbo and showing how LOW he could go. It's easy to drift off and imagine what if it was us out there but instead we started imagining...
What if they were us?
What would these guys be doing if they didn't play golf? So we went "head-hunting" to see how the PGA stars would look with *slightly* different career choices.
"High School Baseball Coach/History Teacher"
Brooks mentioned in an interview that if he were to do it all again he'd play baseball. But we can't just hand the keys to another flourishing athletic career to him so we imagined him in the next best thing for a wanna-be athlete—high school baseball coach. And, like all middling high school coaches, he'd also have to actually teach something... so say hello to your new history teacher. Easiest. A. Ever.
"Professional Sand Castle Builder"
The biggest gimme of all is imagining Patrick Reed waist deep in sand, grinning his face off next to a scale replica of the castle from King's Landing. Wearing a floppy hat and with a Costco-sized tub of sunscreen by his side—yeah, professional sand castle builder has Patrick written all over it. Plus, he's already had some practice. Too easy.
"Ice Cream Man"
Everyone knows Rory as a positive, relaxed, nice guy who gets along with anyone. Uh, ice cream anyone? Now close your eyes and imagine ordering a freezing cold Choco Taco and having a friendly Irishman pop his head out the door. That's a world we want to live in.
"Used Car Salesman"
Justin Thomas has the exact hustler mentality that would immediately make him employee of the month at your local used car shop. Although he may not make the 22 million he did last year playing golf, he's got just the type of baby face to make you think twice about buying a 2012 Volvo anywhere else. And don't worry, JT would still be able to use his whoop while he's out making deals on the lot.
Bubba and basketball—one of golf's all-time what-ifs. Then pair up Bubba's knack for putting on a show and suddenly the red and white pinstripes makes a whole lot of sense. Who wouldn't want to see Bubba pull up from the 4pt circle? The Washington Generals are screwed.
Lefty, who is undoubtedly a magician with his wedges could easily take his talents into real-life wizardry if Callaway never picked him up. We can already imagine Phil telling David Blaine to activate his calves next time he freezes himself in a block of ice. Phil showed us last week that he's making moves on the Champions Tour but that doesn't mean we wouldn't be up for an all-Phil act at the Magic Castle one day.
"Bass Pro Shop Owner"
Okay, hear us out. If you didn't know, one of Eldrick's favorite hobbies is fishing and combine that with his need to dominate any field he enters and suddenly owning fishing's mecca starts to make perfect sense.
Don't believe us that the Big Cat doesn't love a day out on the water? We give you Exhibit A. Epic.
Fortunately for our weekend viewing pleasure, these guys all picked golf as their chosen careers. But it was nice to live in a world—even for a moment—where we could imagine having to ask Brooks for a hall pass or ask Tiger what aisle we can find a good wacky rig senko (don't ask, we had to Google it too.)
And of course, we leave you with one bit of weekend advice: Swing Hard.