Issue. 15 - Advice for Golf's Toughest Moments
Golf is about playing the hand you’re dealt—and like it or not, sometimes that hand is a 2-7 off suit.
No matter how bad the situation may be, we’ve all been there at some point. Which is why this week’s Breakfast Balls is all about some (unconventional) advice for golf’s toughest moments.
Think of it like a TED talk, except it’s more like a talk given by the local course legend named Ted, cigar in hand while hollering advice at everyone teeing off. That’s the kind of wisdom we get down with.
So kick back and soak in these nuggets of knowledge—Bad Birdie style.
Advice for Golf’s Toughest Moments
TOUGH MOMENT #1:
You took a wrong turn around Shanksville, USA and find yourself deep in the woods. Don’t worry partner because you’ve got golf’s AAA on speed dial and we’ll get you right out of this jam. Now, you’re probably thinking you can thread a little 4 iron stinger right back onto the fairway. Don’t. That path leads right into the nearest tree trunk and straight back at your dome. We’ve got the lump to prove it.
Take dead aim at the absurdly small hole next to the squirrel currently holding your turn-purchased hot dog—and swing for the fences.
Best case scenario is you plunk the thieving bastard, get your dog back and the golf gods (in their infinite wisdom, praise be!) hand you a physics-defying bounce that nestles you right back into play.
Aim small, miss small.
TOUGH MOMENT #2:
"The Blue Mile"
Alright, you’re sitting about ten feet in front of what appears to be the Pacific Ocean. Your rangefinder app is saying it’s 150 to carry but when you look back up you swear it’s got to be at least two bills.
Your buddy says trust the app but he’s also safely back on the fairway in a carefree universe where water doesn’t exist… and your clubs do whatever you tell them to do… must be nice.
If you pull 7 iron here, we know Captain Hook is gonna crash the party and your ball will take a dive into the high seas about 75 yards out.
Take the driving iron that your grandfather passed down to your dad who stashed it in the attic for three decades and then passed down to you. You’re going to give that swing everything you got and watch your topped blaster skip like a stone for all 150 yards of that deep blue abyss.
Then you’re going to crack a Coors Light with mountains as blue as the Rockies and tell your buddy to step on it.
TOUGH MOMENT #3:
"Fried Eggs at the Beach"
Welp, you went for it. A green carefully guarded by bunkers so deep you think a Star Wars creature is going to come out and inhale the rake—and you went for it. Now you’re staring at a sandy fried egg and ya left your shovel at home.
You could go Patrick Reed on us, maybe do a little excavating behind the ball while no one’s looking. But we’re going to stop you right there. No one should go Patrick Reed on us, ever... unless otherwise instructed by BBTV's own swing coach Krooks Boepka.
Grab the iron you last hit a great shot with, any of ‘em. This is a confidence play and you only want sweet thoughts in your mind as you step into this one. Because anyone who struggles in the sand knows, chunking the bunk (™ - Bad Birdie) is about as low as life gets.
Chunking the bunk is probably up there with a drive that didn't make it out of the tee box—only worse because now you’re covered in sand.
So take that iron, give it a full cut and watch it fly. You may not be any closer to the hole, but at least you’re getting comments like “Whoa, lay off the weights!” And to us, that’s a W—right Bryson?
The Bad Birdie Snack Shop
We break down the week into a menu of bite-sized thoughts—cooked fresh for you this morning.
#1 - Baddest Birdie of the Week
It's the XL cupholder for a heavy pour John Daly for me...
Tag @badbirdiegolf or use #badbirdiegolf
to be featured in next week's Baddest Birdie.
#2 - Playing Partners
We just dropped our biggest polo lineup ever—so we decided to play course starter and give one of our new designs a suitable playing partner.
Now on the Tee...
Fiji, meet the infamous Greg Norman straw hat. An epic polo deserves an equally epic lid—and if the snapback or ball cap isn’t your thing then you’ve got to rock the signature Greg Norman straw hat, mate. Holing out from the fairway with this duo is basically a lock.
#3 - Swing Thought
Just like a watermarked stock photo, here's an unlicensed, not-quite-there swing thought for your weekend.
"100 yards in the air or on the ground, is still 100 yards."
#4 - BAD BIRDIE TV
Bringing you all the high fives and good vibes from our favorite playground each and every week.
This week, the boys hit up Quintero Golf Club in Peoria, AZ. One of Golf Digest's "best public courses" but we'll be the judge of that. Come see what the fellas had to say.