(Who am I? Great question. I’m Scott, my favorite golf shot is an absolutely demolished driver pulled left off the tee, I won't touch a Coors Light unless the mountains are as blue as a glacial lake and I’m Bad Birdie’s copywriter. Now let’s get back to the good stuff.)
The build up before a golf tourney brings us all back to our high school or collegiate athletic days. It's about recapturing that game day thrill, imagining yourself in the shoes of PGA Tour players, stepping to the tee with the entire field watching. It’s about the heart-pumping, adrenaline-filled competition—even if it’s just you and a couple foursomes of buddies throwing some dollars in a skins pot. It’s addicting—and low key why I created my own golf club in LA, so I had an excuse to chase that feeling each month.
But how someone prepares for a tournament varies wildly, so I wanted to lay down my “foolproof” guide for tourney week prep. Soak in these nuggets of wisdom and arrive at your next event knowing you’re top dog before the balls are even in the air.
How I Prepare for a Golf Tourney
by Scott the Copywriter
Monday
Monday is all about setting the tone for the week and that means one thing… Group. Text.
No score is too low and no goal is too lofty on a Monday. Follow those up with a few pre-emptive Venmo requests for "Future winnings" and the trap is set. There’s absolutely zero accountability for what I say on Mondays so really let it rip.
And above all else, the cherry on top of a great smack talk group chat—a well-placed GIF. Breakfast Ball readers know that I love a good GIF (or ten) so for sake of time, I'll just drop my favorite hype GIF here.
The aggression, the joy, the simplicity. It honestly may be the perfect GIF—please use judiciously.
Tuesday
Tuesday is where I typically see the first warning signs that my highly-touted practice regimen from Monday’s chat may have been a BIT lofty.
Usually work runs a little late, or maybe I got sidetracked by the FX movie of the week (Ooh, Captain America: Winter Soldier… maybe I’ll just watch a few minutes.) Next thing I know, it’s already dark and I haven’t touched a golf club.
Don’t fret, I find that what’s just as good as a range session is about ohhhh 10 to 15 minutes of Instagram swing videos. And I’ve got a pair of my favorites right here for ya.
James Jordan Golf
@jamesjordangolf
Great tips, great vibes, great jargon. And anyone who teaches in flip flops must REALLY know what he's doing.
Chris Ryan Golf
@chrisryangolf
British so it feels like you're getting tips from an OG professional—like getting gambling tips from an Italian guy... follow them blindly.
Group Text Chain Update
Pro tip is to never let ‘em know about a missed range sesh, so here’s where we get a little creative with the storytelling...
Wednesday
Another night, another movie—this time it’s usually like 7 Fast 7 Furious and The Rock is driving a f***in’ tank off a glacier or something… who’s turning that off?
The other Wednesday night casualty, besides about $83.8 million dollars worth of super cars, is my confidence in actually getting any range practice in this week. As they say, the best laid plans, sometimes get messed up—or whatever that quote is.
But I’m always prepared so here’s a little chipping drill I created for around the place.
- Find a foam practice ball, tennis ball or, in my case, my dog’s weird meteor-like orange ball toy.
- Give it a nice lie on the area rug in the living room and practice your square contact.
- Just little 5 o’clock to 7 o’clock swings, nothing fancy, and the idea is to split the uprights through the door frame.
Easy peasy. Best part is, the dog brings it right back. Good girl, Polly.
Group Text Chain Update
Thursday
Alright so by the fourth straight day of missing the range, you’re probably sitting there thinking—this prep is actually more of a journal about what Scott watches on TV each week… and you’d be right.
I mean, it’s Thursday Night Football! Even if it’s Jags v. Browns or another equally terrible matchup, someone I’m playing in fantasy probably has Nick Chubb or something. Whatever, I never said this was a traditional practice routine anyways.
Okay so no range again, but Thursday is when I roll out the carpet and knock around some putts. The at-home putting mat is a must-have for any aspiring amateur tournament junkie. I’ll sneak a dozen or two putts in during commercial breaks, get that 4 to 6 foot pace dialed in. Maybe try one or two on the hardwood to see what the Winged Foot greens were really like. Only to discover that my apartment floors are graded roughly 5 degrees off-level. Cool.
Group Text Chain Update
A few days of sitting on that pretty terrible Rip Van Winkle comment from Tuesday and I worry I may have pushed it too far... so I include a pic just to keep 'em on their toes.
Friday
Crap, it’s the day before the tournament and I still haven’t actually swung a golf club and hit a real golf ball. Off to the range I go.
Now, here’s where I try to make up for lost time so when the guy behind the counter asks how many balls I want to hit tonight, I say “Give me the biggest bucket you got.” After about three times the amount of golf balls even a 40 handicap would expect to hit in a round, I now have a nasty blister on my right ring finger and still somehow have a couple dozen balls left in this bucket. Who hits the XL bucket?!?!
Group Text Chain Update
Then you hit 'em with a pic at the range under the flood lights.
Saturday AM
Slept right past my “ideal world” alarm where I wake up hours before tee time, gather my thoughts, make some breakfast and coffee and leisurely arrive to the course for game day prep.
Thankfully, the tourney outfit is never hard to throw together.
And I arrive to the course, Starbucks iced coffee and sausage breakfast sando in hand abouuuuuuut 30 minutes early. Just enough time to rush through a couple leftover balls that I bum from my buddy on the range, hit three putts on the green (one misses short, one misses long, one barely burns the edge—bah the next one would’ve been in anyways,) and fly up to the first tee to find all the group chat homies wide-eyed and actually prepared for the tourney ahead. Or so they think...
Because when it comes down to it, tourney day or not, we here at Bad Birdie always have on piece of advice that’s sure to produce highlight reel shots—Swing Hard.
(And whatever happens, you’ll always have a breakfast ball.)
Scott Fluhler is a contributing writer and copywriter for Bad Birdie. He co-founded and runs a Los Angeles area golf club called Tiny Putters Golf. Believe it or not, he’s a 12 handicap and places near the top in more than his fair share of tourneys… BY THE WAY!