SOMEONE DEFLATE TOM BRADY, PLEASE
Welp, it's The Match hype time apparently as Tom Brady dropped this video of "him hitting" a "hole in one." Why the different sets of air quotes? Let me explain.
Overreaction hysteria swept golf social this week in the hours after Tom posted. And, like all hysterias, if you wait JUST a minute more, you'll start to see reality come through and my multiple sets of air quotes come out.
"Him hitting" - I am not calling this a deep fake—we'll leave that to deep fake Tom Cruise. HOWEVER, I am calling into question the concept of his shot being the one we see here. The way the ball takes off on the green and races into the cup has to be CGI. It defies physics.
"Hole in one" - Most troubling here is the fake tee box they just dropped into the middle of a par 4 fairway.
It's like Tom said to his video crew, "Man how cool was that fairway hole out I hit in The Match where everyone roasted me? Let's do it again but make it seem like it's a hole in one. Great idea, right guys? Guys? Let me remind you, I pay you..."
"YEAH, great idea, Tom!" - Tom's guys
If only he could deflate his ego like he does his footballs... we could all be another 10% happier.
Breathe, Scott, just breathe.
NETFLIX STRIKES GOLD
We're not worthy of this upcoming Netflix docu-series on the PGA. We weren't before when Harry Higgs and Joel Dahmen ripped their shirts off in the middle of a PGA Tour event... and we aren't now.
I mean, WHAT A DECISION!
Somebody get that Netflix producer on the line and find out who they're following each week from here out. I've got a few tasty FanDuel bets I'd like to place with that intel.
Yes, Netflix was on the scene and followed not only Mito's meltdown (which could easily be a Nintendo 64 game featuring a cheeky mouse named Mito who has to escape a nuclear plant meltdown or makes grilled cheeses or something...) but they also followed JT for a major victory!
Yes, the same JT who earned last week's man of the people award after putting the tourney on blast for $19 beers.
I hope some of you found Bill and Krooks out there btw. Seemed that they spent a LOT of time in the exclusive, free beer, partners tents with the other 1%-ers...
Let it be known that I was shellin' out the cash with you all when I attended the Farmers Insurance at Torrey earlier this year. Though, free beer is going to win 10/10 times. It's just my jealousy peeking through. Get yours, Billy.
WIE-WEST HANGS EM UP
News emerged on Thursday that one of my favorite golfers of all time is officially calling it quits from the LPGA after next week's US Women's Open at Pinehurst.
I know I've outlined her before in previous Breakfast Balls, but in honor of her career... just soaks these nuggets in a bit.
1) Youngest player to ever qualify for a USGA amateur championship at age 10.
(10 YEARS OLD PEOPLE!)
2) Youngest player to ever qualify for an LPGA event at age 12
(At 12 was she even an "L" yet? Doesn't the term Lady kick in around 13? at earliest. Taking my cues from a Bat Mitzvah here because what else do I have to go on? 15 for a quinceañera maybe?)
3) Youngest to win an adult USGA championship at age 13
(At 13, I was still 2 years! out from being Computer Club President at my high school. Weird flex, huh?)
4) Youngest to make the cut at an LPGA major
5) Lowest round ever recorded by a woman at a PGA Tour event - 68 at the 2004 Sony Open
Absolute legend. You'll be missed Michelle!
WHEREFORE ART THOU, NELLY?
In other US Women's Open news, it appears that staff favorite (read: mostly Bill's) Nelly Korda is poised to return to the golfing sphere finally!
Per Golf Digest...
Hold up... his return???
Yep, in the announcement article, above the fold, for the former #1 LPGA golfer Nelly Korda's return to competitive golf, GD drops a supremely disappointing typo.
Look, I write for a living. I make typos. 99% of the time I catch 'em. And once in a blue moon, they make it to print. I hate 'em and every time I see one from my own writing, it takes 2-3 business days to pull me back out of my slump.
But to me, a typo of this level is just so defeating. It's like, the least you can do is proofread a tasty drop like this about one of the LPGA's stars.
Come on, GD. Do better.
P.S. Do people like Golf Digest's Alex Myers?
He writes an admittedly similar column with a far less spastic energy, a finer-tuned eye towards classic grammatical syntax and a BOATLOAD more hokey humor.
I'm mostly curious what people think before I really tee up an actual rivalry here. Is there room for all of us? Absolutely.
But in a much more real sense.
And it's me.
Typo in the GIF intentional!
AND WHERE THERE'S A NELLY...
You got to admire the guy for his perseverance.
As they say, "Hate 'em, cuz you ain't 'em."
Good luck out there, Bill. Grab me some merch.
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