Iss. #62 | If you're reading this, it's my birthday
THA CARTER II
HIT ME BEFORE READING.
So they asked me, young Bill, what you gonna do the second time around? How you gonna come back? I try and told them, I come back like 32, I jump like 33.
HOW ABOUT THEM BOYS FROM AMERICA
Hang this MF'er in The Lourve
Walk with me for a minute, we're about to go on a weird journey.
2018 Ryder Cup:
We get whooped worse than Gordon Bombay did vs Iceland in the 1994 Junior Goodwill Games opening rounds. Thomas Bjorn (Wolf Stansson) assembled a team and made Jim Furyk quite literally, pull his pants down in France and take a spanking.
So what we do?
We get Jan (Tiger) to go visit our new H.C Steve MF'ing Stricker, get his mentals right, and assemble a team so dominant, so powerful, that even our very own Adam Gates (Patrick Cantlay) wanted to keep his foot on those red coats throats when we were up like 9-3. Savage Patty.
Bash Bros, Brooks Koepka and Bryson Dechambeau even squashed beef (apparently). TBD if that stays squashed if Bryson rolls up to the next major with metal spikes on. Dean Portman would never allow metal spikes. Just knuckle-pucks.
K, I think I'm out of Mighty Ducks references.
LET'S CHECK ON SCOTT
Guy got a custom Dolce & Gabbana suit shirt just to rip the buttons off an hour into the wedding. Weird flex but you do you, Scott. YOU DO YOU.
I imagine he's about 3-4 mai tai's deep right now. It's his honeymoon, he better be. Will he be back next week? TBD.
But we hope you're having fun Scotty!
WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH THE BBTV BOYS?
It seems as though the Bad Birdie boys finally decided to churn out some content again, BEEN A MINUTE.
Bet Krooks' brother had ANOTHER wedding or something. Lock it up Tristen.
Anywho, this week they got to challenge Tall Guy and Kenny Powers. What an honor. The Bad Birdie boys cashed out and the fans got them some polos. At the end of the day it was a win win for both parties. Especially for the older woman who got Krooks' digits, SCORE.
You too can have Krooks' phone number, HERE.
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