Iss. #113 | Golf Lifestyles of the Rich, Famous and Odd

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DADDY'S BACK

If I haven't warned you already, content is going to get a bit weird here for the next few weeks until the tours start cranking up again...

Like kicking off the 113th edition of Breakfast Balls with "Daddy's Back".

But before you all call HR on me, I am referencing Chris Pratt's recent interview with CBS about his relationship with golf. And the result was ripped straight from my head every single round I play. Despair, more despair, questioning everything, capped off by unbridled confidence. 

Click through image above for the full audio set to Andy Dwyer clips—and odd editorial choice from a national network but I can just hear the social person explaining it to their boss by saying "It's pop culture, no one will care. Hashtag. Meme. Metaverse." (And by this point their boss had tuned out completely so they hit schedule on the post and moved on.)

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SAM JACKSON WITH THE MOTHER OF ALL RIDERS

I want to say Reddit tipped me off to this nugget that's an oldie but a goodie. Sam Jackson, an 8.6 handicap according to my latest GHIN snooping (assuming of course he is the Sam Jackson that belongs to LA-based country club Mountain Gate...) has a golf clause worked into every movie deal.

The specifics? Two rounds per week... wait for it... whenever he wants AND the movie studio has to pay for the greens fee AND has to pay for transportation to and from the course.

So next time you see a Sam Jackson flick and think to yourself, why on earth would he agree to shoot that? Google around where they filmed and I have a strong hunch that you'll find a Top 100 rated course... 

Legend.

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JORDAN BELFORT LEVEL PARKING JOB

Jag-you-are. The Art of Performance.

I'll admit, Reddit has been on a funky kind of streak recently where it's been less interesting content and more inside jokes packed into inside jokes of people posting pictures of their golf equipment with headlines referencing some dude's humble brag post from the week prior... I don't know, maybe Reddit has passed me by...

But today, I was pleased to see a gem of a standalone post, simply titled "I have so many questions."

Though I almost love the lack of backstory here. We all know exactly what happened and it's some form of Jordan Belfort's lude influenced bender.

Better to pretend it was some 16 year old valet at the club for a joy ride, cut it too close to the grass, tried to over correct, then fled the scene like Kendall Roy from Succession.

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THE ULTIMATE CROSSOVER

Golf's about fundamentals. They say.

Then explain to me how this works... this is Patrick Welch, collegiate golfer for Oklahoma.

And my man Patrick, golfs with his damn hands crossed. Not only does he golf with his damn hands crossed, he's actually good.

I flagged this in my Instagram to return to once I knew how he finished at the Shriners, expecting him to get a dose of reality once he plays with the big guns. And, to my surprise he finished T28 with a final round 65.

He's got a real Matthew Wolff oddity to him and I dig it. Also, if you need a polo sponsor... hit us up. 

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BIG TIME DUB FOR THE KID

Massive W for my mental state this week.

Took some heat for the Roto Trade Analyzer giving me some lip about how I was "taken advantage of." Now, sure, is Dak still recovering? Sure. Did my QB last week Teddy Two Gloves score 0 points? Sure.

But I bit the bullet and I'm riding with Geno until Dak returns and I'm charging into week 6 with a full head of steam and a stinky cheesehead Packer fan awaiting...