Did we just witness the quietest $15 million win ever? Maybe it was the tourney format or DJ's general vibe, but winning $15 MILLION DOLLARS at a golf tournament somehow felt ho-hum. Must be nice.

For this week's Breakfast Balls, we were inspired by our Labor Day 36-er. However, our inspiration didn't come from the golf being played but rather from a Tale of Two Starters.

Long story short, your boys may have been a bitttt slow to start the day and cut it close to tee time for our morning round. The AM starter, Frank was not pleased. Thus setting the tone for a curmudgeonly round where we could never quite get in the groove.

The PM round, however, began with the truly delightful starter Terry who not only welcomed us to the first tee with a smile and a stacked lineup of charmingly well-rehearsed jokes—but also tips for the greens that would prove to be the tipping point between many pars/bogeys.

Which got us thinking about the unsung, everyday heroes of golf...

Ode to Golf’s Unsung Heroes:

In this series, we shine a light on the men and women who dedicate themselves to the game we all love. From the cart barn to the cafe, they’re the cast of characters that adds a special unnameable something and keep us coming back for more.

Today, we honor...

The Retiree Course Starter

He’s the last friendly face you see before piping one out onto the first fairway (or tree line to the right of the first fairway.) Proudly donning his weathered Oakmont Country Club cap, he’ll recount the epic 1962 US Open final to anyone who asks.

No, he wasn’t technically there. But he did buy the cap on a family road trip to Pennsylvania Dutch Country—and he swears he could still hear the roar of the crowd chanting Jack’s name. 

An encyclopedia of course knowledge, he’ll remind you that the green on twelve always runs to the creek. Knowing full well you won’t remember a damn thing until AFTER you watch your par putt sail past the hole towards the creek bed.

He watches as group after group of slightly inebriated, breakfast ball-wielding Patrick Duff-ners tee off—never uttering a word of disdain but instead offering canned lines like; “Oh, you’ll be just fine over there” and “There’s a lot of golf left to play!” 

He understands that golf is less about what the number is on the scorecard and more about writing a number on a scorecard in the first place.

Rarely seeing more than the first few shots of any golfer’s round, he lives in a magical world where course records are crushable and a world of golfing possibility awaits.

So next time you tee off at your local track—give him a shot he’d never see coming… a single barrel malt on the rocks. (Or like, a beer or something.)

Here’s to you—Retiree Course Starter.

The Bad Birdie Snack Shop

Bite-sized thoughts cooked fresh for you this morning.

#1 - Today's Swing Thought

Just like a watermarked stock photo, here's a half baked swing thought for your weekend.

"Any slice can be a fade, if you lie about what you were aiming at."

#2 - Baddest Birdie of the Week




You play the course. Don't let the course play you.

Tag us using #badbirdiegolf

to put your name in the hat for Baddest Birdie of the Week.

(TBH wearing that polo and with a cigar hanging in his mouth, you should know the answer already...)

Tag @badbirdiegolf or use #badbirdiegolf

for next week's Baddest Birdie.

#3 - Fantasy Foursome

Here are the three people we’d want to play golf with this week.

Justin Thomas - Expecting DJ? Well, we were too when the PGA of America named JT the Player of the Year with Dustin in a distant 5th. Cold world.

Mike Krzyzewski - He is leading the push to include all 357 Division 1 Men's Basketball teams in the 2021 NCAA tournament. THIS IS NOT A DRILL! If he pulls this off... we owe the guy a sleeve of Pro-Vs at the very least. 

Travis Scott - The dude is a legend and now has his own meal at Micky D’s! Is it just a Quarter Pounder, fries and a Sprite? Yes, but that's honestly the best part of it all. What a flex.

Hmm, what would a Bad Birdie meal be?...

#4 - Weekend Golf Challenge

Here’s a little something different to shoot for this weekend.

“Double-Double Animal Style”

Named after the iconic In N Out off-menu staple, this challenge is just the right amount of sloppy. 

What You Need to Do: Shoot a double bogey, birdie, birdie, double bogey on four consecutive holes. 

The double bogeys are the buns and the two birdies are the mouth-watering double cheeseburger patties.

Plus, just like after an In N Out binge, at only +2 gross, you actually don’t feel that bad after either.

And for our final parting thought—Swing Hard.

James Itkoff