Iss. #99 | The Ultimate Golf Trip Guide to... Any Guesses?

"Issue 99." - Me, slowly shaking my head in contemplation, just now.

(Picture this said as I gaze across the NYC skyline out Logan Roy from Succession's giant glass window. Or on Nicole Kidman's balcony from Big Littles Lies watching the waves crash into the pristine Monterrey shores. Or out at the frozen tundra horizon huddled in my wooly cloak atop The Wall from Game of Thrones. I always default to HBO when picturing epic scenes.)

I'll save the rest of my nostalgic rant for next week's absolute carnival of an issue. So definitely don't miss that one. Long and short of it, we've done nearly 100 issues of this thing and we're shattering reader records every week. I love you all.

This week, however, we finally pay off my Bachelor Party ask from ohhhhh 6 months ago. Let's go, let's go.

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SCOTTSDALE: THE MOTHERLAND

True story, the opening theme from Lion King plays in my mind every time I play the first morning round of a golf trip.

Welp, the day has arrived. After an absurd amount of overly enthusiastic responses to my call for Bachelor Party intel back in late February, I've finally found a situation epic enough to unveil my findings.

Today, I present, the Bad Birdie Ultimate Golf Trip Guide to our home, the motherland, Scottsdale, Arizona.

It was far and away the most popular destination I saw in your answers and layering on that it is the location of BB HQ and it includes Scott in the name of the damn city... here we go!

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WHERE TO PLAY

This will likely be the most polarizing section of the entire email so let's get this out of the way early.

Scottsdale has no shortage of courses to play and depending on what season you go, the rates fluctuate WILDLY. Believe it or not, 110 degree heat is not what some call "ideal playing conditions."

So my top three courses to visit when you're here are strictly from an overall experience POV.

1) Quintero Golf Club
Leading my list is a course that is admittedly a bit of a hike outside the Scottsdale area BUT throw the crew in a sprinter van, crack a few seltzies and you won't regret it.

2) We-Ko-Pa
Any facility that still offers a 36 hole discount package despite needing no extra help to fill tee times, is a standout in my book. Also love any golf trip that features a 36-er at two courses on the same property.

3) Troon North
A legendary facility and some of the best scenery around. It will beat the living $#&* out of most of the group but look real good doin' it.

Honorable mentions: Greyhawk, TPC Scottsdale and Papago.

Don't @ me.

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WHERE TO EAT (AND DRINK)

Look, I know you have Google. So what I've got here are a few of my own favorite spots—aka if you want club reccs with the sparkler-laden bottles carried out by a few local models? A pool party perhaps with DJ spinning from sun up to sun down? DM Bill.

1) Bootleggers
Meat, meat and more meat. Plus a feature on triple D? That's all the approval I need.

2) Perk Eatery
Everyone needs a great breakfast spot and the offerings at Perk are the perfect pick me up before a late morning/early afternoon rounds. Was it on Triple D as well? Maybe.

3) The Hot Chick
Love an arcade bar. Golden Tee, NBA Jam, Mortal Kombat. All the classics are here, toss in some walking-around cocktails and you've got yourself an evening.

Honorable mention: Top Golf... of course. But too on the nose.

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WHERE TO STAY

CriBBs is back in a big way this week.

Lazy river, 11 bedrooms and a massive indoor theater for golf tourney watching galore.

Does the inside read a bit too posh? Probably. But also, let's just echo our favorite catchphrase—NEVER. LAY. UP.