ANYONE ELSE FEELING THE MASTERS HANGOVER?
Feeling a little Natalie Imbruglia this week because the Masters win over the weekend as has me "Torn."
HEYOOOOOOOO
Sorry, it's too early in the letdown from the Masters to bombard you with a joke like that. I can feel the collective headache-induced groan.
But for real, I am quite torn. Because while I've been well-documented in saying that Scottie's meteoric rise has been a massive, MASSIVE W for Scotts everywhere.
As a champion, he leaves me a bit underwhelmed.
Nothing more milktoast than a kid with a good head on his shoulders winning. And then came the Masters follow-up "So who is Scottie Sheffler?" content...
SCOTTIE USES A SPOON!
Yes, headlines this week exclaimed... SCOTTIE EATS CHIPOTLE WITH A SPOON!
Referencing a Golf Digest video in which Scottie and his wife Merideth discuss their Chipotle preferences.
"You can't use any other silverware or else it 'doesn't taste the same'," Scudder said, holding up air quotes before Scheffler chimed in to share his very strong options on the silverware debate. "No, no, no, no, no — people always eat their Chipotle with a fork, but they use it like a spoon!" he said. "They spoon it, but with a fork. It doesn't make any sense. Everyone else has got it wrong. I got it right with a spoon."
And honestly, I was more intrigued by the Chipotle ad embedded in the People magazine article touting their new Chicken Adobo than I was with the article itself.
This all sounds like a bad attempt at a Seinfeld joke.
Strike One.
THE MAN'S CADDIE TAKES THE SPOTLIGHT
The second headline circulating this week wasn't even about Scottie but rather it was about his caddie, Ted Scott.
(Chalk that one up as another W for Scotts everywhere. A last name, but I'll still count it.)
Ted posted this delightful series of videos on his Instagram of him taking the Masters flag everywhere, even setting his dinner table with them.
Now, look, during Masters hangover week I know fresh content is hard to come by. And by no means am I asking that every major champion come with some absurd ego or quirky story about how they dress as Batman and go to Comic-Con (don't think we're forgetting already, Tiger) but give me SOMETHING!
THE BEST PIECE OF MASTERS HANGOVER CONTENT
Yep, the best piece of content I saw was this video of a man who bet that Scottie would NOT cry after winning the Masters.
Watching a grown man and his friends psycho-analyze the different opportunities wherein Scottie might cry—plus breaking down the litany of tech bro looking friends lining the rails as Scottie made his way down the walkway—was pure gold.
Which leads me to a more important point I'd like to put into the universe.
LEGALIZE SPORTS GAMBLING IN CALIFORNIA!!!!
Please?
YOUR HEART-WARMING (YET STILL INSANE) STORY OF THE WEEK
I thought about posting the legit story from a reputable golf publication, but then I came across the NY Post version and it was just too good to pass up.
The unedited title?
This golfer drank urine, did hallucinogens and ate 800 grapes a day to fight disease
Yep, this story is about amateur phenom Morgan Hoffman who discovered he had muscular dystrophy and quit the Tour in search of a cure.
His travels led him to Nepal to drink his own urine and eventually the Costa Rican jungle where he experimented with drugs (Ayahuasca seems like a TRIP) and treatments (like eating only grapes?) but the good news is he is doing better and returns to PGA action this weekend!
The dude shot even par after Thursday's action. Finally proving that golf is JUST like riding a bike... if you're an elite level pro. For me, it includes more slices than a grade school soccer game orange bowl.
Too niche? F it - it was a slow week!
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