Iss. #296 | Power Ranking the Tahoe Celebrity Pairings

"It's not shy kids don't get sweets, it's shy caddies don't get ice cream." - Charley Hull at the Amundi Evian Championship after lacing her approach onto the green in 2 at the par 5 15th just moments after enjoying an on-course ice cream.

 Power Ranking the American Century Pairings

TAHOE'S TOP 5 HANGS

This weekend is the American Century Championship at Lake Tahoe aka that summer celebrity tournament that looks like a 24/7 party for anyone in attendance.

I personally learned this year that apparently there has been a fairly famous karaoke tournament that follows the golf which, while it sounds like my own worst nightmare, is one of the more unique events to surround a pro-am style golf tournament with. So kudos to whoever for making that a "thing."

What I'm actually here for is imagining the vibes of each foursome as some get paired up based on mutual interests like an all NFL grouping, while others appear completely random. So I figured I'd power rank the pairings that I'd be most interested to join/be on the fly on the wall for.

5) Rich Eisen, Grant Hill, Vince Carter

Fun fact—when I was a kid I collected basketball cards. Funner fact (for others, not so much the long term value of my collection)—I zeroed in on a few players and collected the @#&* out of them. Trading things like Shaq rookie cards for my chosen few. That list? Damon Stoudamire (I loved the Raptors uniforms and he has a Mighty Mouse tattoo), Gary Payton (he had the same birthday as me), Jerry Stackhouse (I am a sucker for a good wing, and he was one of the first ultra rare numbered cards I ever got), and Vince Carter (see also Raptors and dunk contest).

4) Ryan Fitzpatrick, Kyle Juszczyk and Colin Jost

I've always seen myself in Colin Jost and I weirdly met him before he became famous when a script I wrote made the finals of a FOX TV Comedy scriptwriting contest at the New York TV Festival. So imagining him, paired with a Harvard guy like Fitzy, and Kyle as a wild card has me very intrigued. I feel like this could be a sneaky vibes group yet still super smart conversation.

3) Nate Bargatze, Rob Riggle, Larry the Cable Guy

The true risk-reward pairing. There's a world that this group is absolutely hysterical to play with and you leave shooting 100 and having the absolute time of your life. There's also a world that with three comedians, this thing becomes an insufferable game of "who can top this?" for the crowd and cameras. And you end up on 18 realizing that no one said anything of substance and you find yourself pretending to linger at your bag to avoid hearing another forced joke.

2) Dell, Seth and Steph Curry

I have to imagine this is an electric pairing built on decades of family competitions in the backyard. They also seem like genuinely nice people so would strike the right balance of watching a show and not feeling like you just intruded on some deep DEEP familial trauma.

1) Robert Saleh, Ray Romano, Bobby Flay

Hands down the strangest pairing of the entire tournament and it's not even close. Absolute beast of a human being and ultra alpha athlete... paired with Everybody Loves Raymond... paired with the grill master?

I NEED to know what these three people talk about for 18 holes. Sports? Pop Culture? Mundane stories of daily life? Or is the center of this Venn diagram, like, a mutual love for smoking meats?

Golf Social is buzzzzin'

SCOTTIE'S SHORTS AND A TEE-GATE

Guys, this is one of those moments where I couldn't be prouder to be a voice in the Bad Birdie universe.

This week, golf social erupted over the video above posted featuring Scottie Scheffler playing North Berwick in Scotland in... a tee shirt and shorts.

From every corner came the people saying that this is the sign of the end of times for golf. How dare he not follow proper dress codes? We've got people in airports wearing pajamas. Now Scottie is wearing athleisure to one of golf's oldest venues. Is AnYtHiNg SaCrEd??!?!?! (Side note, nobody does the lower into upper case digs anymore huh? Is it a function of being super annoying to type? Fallen out of favor? I still find it extremely effective.)

The truth is that as long as the course doesn't enforce an actual dress code for whatever their reason may be... who... the... f@#*... cares?

Talk about a recruitment tool

TAKING THE PJ FROM SILVIS, ILLINOIS

The John Deere Classic always falls the week prior to the European swing of the season as golfers shift gears from the stateside PGA events to the Scottish Open and Open Championship across the pond. 

And because of that, I discovered that since 2008 the John Deere charters a direct flight from Silvis, Illinois to Scotland to help recruit more players who would then have to take at least a 2-3 stop layover journey to get to Scotland thereafter.

I bring this up because these are the types of tactics the lower tier events already have to employ to get the top talent to play. And with the new PGA structure of fewer elevated events and a two-tier relegation system—I wonder if the future of PGA events will start to resemble minor league baseball.

Imagine if every tournament offered a suite of perks like the John Deere, had a unique personality like the excavator teeing off above, and drew in crowds and players thanks to a carefully curated vibe—versus just a cookie cutter golf tournament experience.

What is the Binghamton Rumble Ponies or the Akron RubberDucks of golf? And how could those offer a different yet still competitive experience for fans to come and enjoy in a world of 20-something "premium" venues each season?

Food for thought.