"I'd be pretty pissed if Scottie and I played... and he's like 'Do you want a stroke on this nine?'" - Justin Thomas on giving strokes to other pros in home matches... or the other seven guys I'm about to go play Bandon with next week after seeing the jumbo-sized range bucket of strokes my handicap awards me these days.
News is better with a British accent
SOLHEIM HOUSING D-R-A-M-A!
"The Solheim Cup wouldn't be the Solheim Cup without a little bit of needle, a little bit of con-traw-ver-see, and we have but a cracking story here..." - Jamie Weir's intro for the Sky Sports clip.
Before we get another word further, news is definitively better when delivered in a British accent. And there is no debate.
The Solheim Cup kicks off Friday (aka today for most of you reading) in Virginia in front of what's expected to be record crowds. But before they even teed off, it seems that Team USA was getting proper teed off. (Little British twist in there for ya.)
Apparently, Team USA got the first pick for what house they wanted as their team's home base on property. The team actually stays overnight at hotels off-property but this place would function as their wind down, hang spot.
Naturally, the team chose the larger 8 bedroom, 8 bathroom house pictured above. The only problem is...
...the other house is literally next door and backs up directly onto the driving range. So, as pictured above, Team Europe can walk right out the door and practice while listening to their music on full blast. While the Americans have to walk past the Europeans setup to the complete opposite end of the range.
The drama derives from an apparent line in the housing contract that says Team Europe can't actually use the driving range bays nor can they set up tables and chairs outside—something else the team has already done.
The story tickled me because even at the highest levels of sport, the level of petty never disappears. Apparently this has all been settled and it was likely more of a media story then story story—but all the same, gotta read that contract.
Thanos may be coming for this LIV ring
THE REAL REWARD: RING OR RYDER CUP?
For all you working professionals out there, I found this one on LIV Golf's LinkedIn page! So corporate.
What you see above is this year's LIV Individual Championship ring. And while my gut reaction was to be like, what kind of Tony Stark lookin', gimmick-filled arcade prize is this?
I would wear the f@#^ out of this thing. The LinkedIn post made a point to say the diamonds are all VS or VVS which is a super odd flex given there are two levels of diamonds above VVS. For those who don't know diamonds, and like I'm any expert having bought a pair of weddings rings, but it basically means that's pretty damn clear but maybe there is a speck of something off to the side that can only be seen through a microscope.
Where this ring really shines is in the features.
Hidden beneath the L logo is a diamond encrusted ball marker. The top of the ring has a cool Da Vinci code style twisting lock mechanism to reveal the ball marker beneath. So immediately my mind hopes that an elite level of competitor like Brooks will win this thing just so we can see him using the ball marker in round as a giant billboard-sized reminder to his competitors about who won.
But wait, that's not all! Because on the flip side of the ball marker is a QR code that will be linked to a clip of the winning moment so they will always be able to cue up the video for added bragging rights.
BUT WAIT—despite no explicit mention in the LinkedIn post—the final image appears to show that the ring either illuminates or is straight up glow in the dark. The 90s kid in me wants it to glow in the dark so badly.
The sad underbelly to this ring news are all the reports of LIV players scrambling to sign up for DP World Tour events so they can remain Ryder Cup eligible: see also, Jon Rahm. Heavy is the, uh, finger that wears the ring, I guess.
Speaking of prestigious titles
LATE NIGHT WITH—THE CARDIGAN CLASSIC
Today I learned that, back in July, Jimmy Fallon squared off with DJ Khaled in a 1v1 golf match following the American Century Championship on Lake Tahoe. That match will finally be televised in place of The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon on Friday (aka tonight for most of you...).
In a world where The Match feels way too long and it's always a question of how well/how many people can fill all the down time on the live broadcast. I love that this was created to be edited down into a tight TV package—YouTube-esque almost.
The match takes place over 4 holes between two middling golfers and they each get a mulligan too. If you click through the image above it leads to an interview Jimmy did on the Dan Patrick show—but he hinted that between the crowd HEAVILY drinking on Lake Tahoe and some wild weather that descended in just the four holes, it's a pretty fun and wacky watch.
(*NOTE - if you care at all who won, I do not recommend Googling anything else about this. It seems some of the 5,000 inebriated Tahoe visitors mayyyyyy have let the outcome leak. In a surprise to us all...)
Dropped his phone in a cold plunge
HOMELESS HUBBS—WHAT A LEGEND
Originally heard this story on the Fairway Rollin' podcast from The Ringer where Mark Hubbard's brother revealed that Mark completely missed the registration deadline for the Procore Championship this week in Napa, CA. The story was basically that he booked accommodations and everything but his brother had to reveal that after checking the roster of players—Mark wasn't listed and completely forgot to actually register for the tournament.
Because of that, Mark had to compete in the Monday qualifying to earn a spot in the field—and then proceeded to shoot the lowest round of the day at -7. And sure enough, he finds himself right at the top of the leaderboard heading into Friday's action. Never doubt a man with conviction.
A final incredible nugget from the interview above—Mark described the Procore as one of the wives' majors because of its location in Napa alongside the world-renowned vineyards. Yeah, I can see that.
And now I turn to you.
Real feats of golf gennnniuuuuussss
THE RAUCHDY MATCH
NEW SEGMENT ALERT!!!
Introducing the "Real Feats of Golf GEEEENNNIUUUUUSS". A segment that highlights the epic matches of golfing prowess from real Breakfast Balls readers. Why the weird spelling of Genius, you ask? Well, in the early 2000s there was a series of Bud Light commercials called "Real Men of Genius" that featured the unsung heroes of everyday society. The commercial had an 80s-style theme song sung by David Bickler of the band Survivor (aka the Eye of the Tiger band) and he would really hold the note on genius. Just watch the linked YouTube video...
SO
This segment is about celebrating the unsung heroes of the Bad Birdie Breakfast Balls community and their real feats of golf genius. Basically, I want to hear about your epic golf matches and share you and your crew in Bad Birdie gear for the entire world to see.
We begin with a few familiar faces to the Breakfast Balls faithful. Remember Kelly and Ryan Rauch? They were the couple who separately applied to compete in the Breakfast Balls Invitational. Ryan, wanting it to be a surprise for their anniversary, emailed me and we had been working on a grand surprise... only to have our email marketing platform spoil said surprise when Kelly received a confirmation email...
But the story didn't end there as the couple ended up competing in the event and Kelly made a hole in one!!! Earning her spot on the Breakfast Balls Mount Rushmore.
But the story didn't end there as the couple ended up competing in the event and Kelly made a hole in one!!! Earning her spot on the Breakfast Balls Mount Rushmore.
Well, they're back and they're about to compete in their annual Rauchdy Match where they compete 1v1 for household dominance. Potentially happening as you're reading this issue, in fact. Ryan wanted to turn up the heat and so he shared their Instagram handles and asked to be featured on the off chance that it will rattle Kelly's nerves for the event... so here I am sharing their IGs @ryn8985 (Ryan) and @kellykrauch (Kelly). Let 'em know you're rooting for 'em!
And now I turn to you.
Do you have a match coming up, golf trip, club championship?
Want to earn a little fame and fortune?
Hit me up at any time for a chance to be featured. I'll highlight my favorite stories and photos—and maybe send you a little something for your troubles. Just click the link below and send me an email!
Let's Hear It!
Let's Hear It!
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