Breakfast Balls enthusiasts—there are only three more issues between now and #200!!
And in the spirit of Suits (which I started watching for the first time a few weeks ago... helluva show), picture me storming into Bad Birdie HQ like Harvey Specter demanding to be named partner as recognition for hitting such an incredible milestone.
In the meantime, I'll be asking a series of questions at the end of each week's issue to help get ready. So if you'll do your best Donna Paulsen impression—staring at me, infatuated, claiming to not be in love with everything I do—I'd appreciate any and all responses as I will definitely have a heavy reader-contributed portion to the issue.
Now, let's get back to our normal programming.
Personal updates on personal updates...
A MEATY INTRO
Banner this week is bringing big time summer bbq vibes with the hot dog illustrations. I can't actually bring myself to call them glizzys in public on principle alone—but for those who partake... call them whatever the f@#& you want.
(Might I add, we are nearly 200 issues in and to this day only one reader has ever noticed that the banner offers a sneak peek in future design drops. Let's give it up for Spencer F.!)
I bring up banner because the fam hit up Costco this past weekend and we got a Costco hot dog for the first time in years. There is no denying it is the best deal in food. $1.50 for a hot dog and soda... even if it was a pig-in-a-blanket-sized cocktail dog... it would still be a steal. And though it's unclear if he was joking or not, our designer Bad Birdie Michael shared that he'll grab a Costco dog for afternoon golf rounds—and I've never appreciated him more.
Full disclosure, we also got slices of pepperoni pizza and the infamous chicken bake this weekend, too. Jack's been a nutcase. Leave me alone.
And I wouldn't be surprised if the father-son Big Justice account on TikTok is actually just a deep-state Costco operation to make me crave their food 24/7. The chicken bake is actually Boom, though.
In other personal news, preparations for my Bandon trip in September just ratcheted up 100x.
I, Bad Birdie Scott, have officially started taking golf lessons for the first time since I was 13.
Only taken one so far, but my man Tim gets a big ole BOOM! from me as he not only gassed me up about the fundamentals of my swing but he also shined a giant floodlight on why we can't just figure things out ourselves. What I thought was a neutral grip this entire time was actually weak... he moved my hand a quarter turn and I immediately gained 5-10 yards with a baby draw.
Look out.
What is going on over there?
YO, IS GOLF DIGEST OK?
I don't often comment on social media posts. But when I do, it's for crazy a$$ stuff like this.
Yes, I am @s_flu on IG... I rarely post anything beyond Jack content and recaps of my golf rounds. But I'm out there.
This post. I was without words. I mean how low on content ideas do you need to be as an organization to even pitch something like this?
Click through if you really care, but the post was a carousel that includes quotes from a 1500! person panel of voters. Half the quotes are basically just advertisements for the concept of a shower... ample water with good toiletries. And the others just state that the water pressure is solid.
People, we deserve better than this. If an entire publication can jump the shark, Golf Digest just did it. (Says the guy who opened the newsletter with a whole bit on hot dogs and chicken bakes.)
This is a Public Service Announcement
MASTERS TICKETS, HERE! GET YOUR APPLICATION TO GET TICKETS HERE!
In the interest of providing you actual value this week, consider this my good deed.
Yes, Masters tickets applications are open once again.
The craziest part of the Masters ticket lottery is that, mentally, I legit think that I have a better chance to win the actual lottery than I do to win this. Deep down I think this whole ticket thing is actually a phishing scheme hiding in plain sight. It's all some elaborate way to get us to update our emails and mailing addresses so they can send us targeted ads.
But you know what? In the same way that I'll keep buying Mega Millions tickets as soon as the jackpot hits $500M+, I'll keep sending Augusta National my information.
I think this is my year.
Buy our first home? Or....
$1.1M FOR A TILLINGHAST
It should be clear that I am no financial analyst. But the price for these golf courses that get posted all over social media always astounds me.
In a world where the average home price around us in San Diego is 33% higher than an entire golf course by one of the country's most prominent architects... something is up.
So I did some digging. Well, I read an article actually.
And the article outlined that the course I'm describing here, Erie Golf Course in NW Pennsylvania, is currently being operated on a five-year deal by 7637 Enterprises. The deal ends in 2024, thus the pending sale.
Let's play a game, how much do you think Millcreek Township earns from this golf course per year?
If it's selling for over a million dollars, I would've guessed at least six figures. Again, not a "finance" guy.
I would've been gravely wrong.
$37,000.
That's it.
And the article explains that they actually expect to run a $160,000 deficit thanks to repairs. Oof.
All this to say, anyone want to go in together on this course? I've got some pretty killer AI renderings to guide the development.
#200 approaches...
THE FINAL COUNTDOWN
As I teased at the start, the countdown to Breakfast Balls Issue #200 is on!
To say I know EXACTLY what I'm doing for it would be a biiiiiiiit of a stretch. But what I do know is that I'll need your help because it will feature a heavy dose of you—the readers.
So over the next few issues, I'll end each week with a simple question or prompt for you to answer. I'll choose some of my favorites to feature in the 200th issue and have some handsome prizes for those who make the cut!
Last week I asked: What is one golf-themed phrase that doesn't exist? And I have already taken a few of your submissions out for a spin—fantastic work, people.
THIS WEEK'S QUESTION
What are your favorite three sources (besides BB) for golf news and/or entertainment? (Videos, podcasts, websites, publications, social accounts, etc.)
And I ask this because, I need to know the competition. So I swear to God if you all tell me that you read Alex Myers at Golf Digest... I'm going to lose it.
Have a Breakfast Balls-worthy tip? Reading any good golf books? Want to play some G?
Hit me up! The hot line is always open.
Want to re-heat some leftover Breakfast Balls?
Check out our blog and dig in.
