2024 will mark the fourth year of Breakfast Balls!!
It's been humbling to watch a simple experiment in sending something fun, occasionally interesting, and sometimes unhinged turn into what it is today. Whether I was able to respond or not, I mean it when I say I read every response. The weird ones. The touching ones. The ones that confuse me for our customer service department. All of 'em.
As the first token of my appreciation, I dedicate the end of year mailbag to you. Thank you for opening, reading, responding—and frankly, not un-subscribing.
And as a second token of my appreciation, make sure you read next week's BB as I finally get to reveal a huge surprise for Breakfast Balls in 2024!
THE 2024 BREAKFAST BALLS MAILBAG
My response to everyone who emailed.
Sorry, had to do one more.
THE PEOPLE WANT PRODUCT!
How'd this picture of me get back in here?? So embarrassing, I forgot to shave too.
To kick off my favorite product requests was Seth J. who instead of asking about the limit on how many Breakfast Balls hats he could buy... there is none!... asked about the silly golf ball on "my" head to add to his collection. My answer, we don't sell 'em. BUT there will be an opportunity in the new year connected to next week's surprise reveal.
Semi-related note, Charlie G. asked if we'd be dropping any tee shirts with the Breakfast Balls artwork on the back. To which I answer, if we sell out these hats—the sky is the limit! Tee shirts, hoodies, golf carts, PJ (private jets)—and PJs (pajamas) I guess. Supply and demand my friend.
Dave S. took me on a roller coaster with his email. It started with a tale of his hole in one... with a breakfast ball. A brutal twist of fate and unfortunately, not the first I've heard. Between countless Reddit threads and the occasional reader email, it almost scares me off hitting a second shot on par 3's just to avoid the pain.
I bring up Dave though for how he signed off the email...
"By the way, my son bought me my first Bad Birdie shirt a few years ago and I have purchased 2 or 3 more since. Very fond of some of your styles, but to be honest, I work at a golf course part time now and can acquire some nice shirts (not Bad Birdie) at a discounted price."
Name 'em. (How about that RHOBH reference... Sutton anyone?)
Seriously, name the course Dave. I can't hear that your son gave you your first taste of BB, you purchased a few more and are fond of our styles... only to leave us for golf course discounts! Let's get my people talking with your people and make a deal.
Finally, we end with an elegantly simple request that made me laugh from Aron. L
"Why won't you guys make a freakin' visor?"
Slightly hostile, but I love the passion, Aron.
PROPER BURRITO ETIQUETTE
Chris J. emailed to both take me up on my favorite breakfast burrito in San Diego and also ask about proper on-course food etiquette. He signed off by saying "Chris in Dan Diego, sent from a galaxy far far away." So I think we've got a Star Wars-loving local, but also could be an elaborate inside joke. Never quite sure.
Item 1—my favorite San Diego breakfast burrito is the Chorizo Con Huevo from Taco Stand in Encinitas. The salsas are bomb and chorizo as a breakfast burrito protein is unmatched.
My favorite all-time breakfast burrito is the chorizo from Cerveteca in Culver City, CA. Crispy hash browns inside. A golden brown, perfect flat top crisp on the tortilla. And they've got this creamy habanero salsa that I'm literally drooling about as I write this.
Item 2—Etiquette.
I find on-course eating to be one of the sneakiest spots for golf innovation. It's pretty archaic. You mean to tell me, in a world where pace of play is basically priority 1, that the best we have for eating options is messy sandwiches, giant styrofoam takeout containers, and a halfway house that's rarely prepared to have food prepared as we roll up at the turn?
I'm always waiting for food. I'm always slowing down play to try to eat. And there's never a good place to put said food during the course of play.
Eating on the course shouldn't be this disruptive.
AW, THIS WAS A NICE ONE
Lacunas Stickup, not sure what their real name was as it was just the icloud email signature, asked a very heartwarming question around my best friend and how golf is about having a good time with your crew. (Side note, there is at least a 10% chance this actually is my best friend who emailed under a fake email account.)
The short rundown, Nate and I both went to college together. But didn't end up meeting until we both moved to LA after school. We bonded initially over a love for Larry David plus Jay Cutler had just been traded from his Broncos to my Bears. The rest was history.
We used to host giant summer vacays for our friend group where we'd do Survivor-style games. And our crowning gem event was an "Easter Egg Hunt Bar Crawl" around Santa Monica.
Everyone attending gave us $20 and we put it all inside a briefcase. That briefcase (and us) hid at a bar somewhere in Santa Monica. It was the attendees task to find us and whoever found us first got to start drinking on the open tab paid for by everyone's entry fee.
We sent out missions to complete at nearby bars to earn clues to find us.
The catch? I was dressed in a giant easter bunny costume, holding said briefcase.
And the best part of it all? Just two months prior, I had started dating a local Santa Monica girl and asked her and her friends to come join the festivities.
She ended up coming, saw me in said easter bunny costume, and CONTINUED to want to date me. Not only that, she married me. And is currently raising Jack with me.
So this ended up being a story about my two best friends and the photo above still blows my mind. Like, I didn't even shave...
Another fun fact, Nate hates golf. But reads this newsletter. Hi, bud.
One win away!
MY FANTASY "LOAD OUT"
I swear I didn't plant this email but Grant Z. actually asked me what my fantasy team was this year!
Well, I think he did. I had to Google what load out meant as he technically asked me what my fantasy load out was this year.
Google said;
"A load out is when the company that agrees to move your trailer loads it with goods for the move. In a load out, the company moving your asset will still get paid per mile and have a return timeline, but the agreement includes the understanding that they can use the trailer during the trip."
No, that couldn't be right. So I added "in gaming" and sure enough, I gather it's a slang term for what equipment, weapons, etc you select before Call of Duty or whatever. Which then made me super nostalgic for the days when I used to game constantly. Gosh, all that free time.
THEN I finally got around to revealing the screenshot above. Yes, just one year removed from one of the worst fantasy seasons I've ever had—all in public view as I stupidly decided to play-by-play my season in BB—I am in the title game.
We added two teams for a 12-team Bad Birdie office league which proved to be BLEAK on the waivers each week. The talent pool was bone dry. And yet, I persevered. The only man standing in my way is CMC. Anything less than 30 points, and I've got a shot.
Get your kids into golf
OKAY, OPERATION 36 LOOKS AWESOME!
The final email of the mailbag comes from Chelsea V. who sent this picture of her husband and son dropping an ELITE score at a local tourney. She also wrote one of the better pitches for why people should exclusively get their golf news through Breakfast Balls...
"BB is easily the greatest news source and anyone who disagrees doesn’t enjoy happiness."
Amen, sister.
And as my mind wandered, imagining myself and Jack in the same picture in a few years. I decided to look up Operation 36.
It's incredible. Apparently it's a junior golf development program started in 2010. And the entire concept is to play 9 holes with kids and look to break par aka 36. But the clever twist is that each kid has to graduate distances. So the tourneys begin with them setting up 25 yards from the hole and as they break par, they progress to 50 yards, 75 yards, and as seen in this photo 100 yards!
I'm not going to lie, even if I had two shots, I'm not sure I'm sniffing a 26 on 9 holes from 100 yards. So massive kudos to the Virgin Family as they went REAL low... and looked damn good doin' it.
Thanks again to you all for reading and have a great new year!!!
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