BUY YOUR OWN DAMN AIR TIME
The latest news out of LIV that's coming in practically as we speak is a long-awaited potential TV deal.
Reports are that the LIV (aka Losing Interest Voraciously) are BUYING THEIR OWN airtime on Fox Sports 1 after no suitors would pay them for the content on the initial go-round. They would be on the hook for putting a broadcast together as well as selling any commercial deals.
A far cry from the "many suitors" that LIV claimed previously. And while I guess the optics of this are not ideal from a "everything is fine" while the room is on fire angle, I do think it's a smart play for the league with no bottom to their pocketbook. End to their pocketbook? Bottom to their sack of cash? If it's on TV then it's guaranteed more people will watch than their current plan to livestream on the website like it's some eagle nest cam.
BUT in a world with neverending needs for content and companies paying for practically anything that's filmed—the optics are significant nonetheless.
Wake me up when we get the Jets v. Sharks showdown tournament we all want to see.
IF "SMH" WERE A VIDEO
Bryson's at a long drive competition this weekend and brought his boys from Country Club Adjacent with him, or maybe they brought Bryson? Who knows.
So over a week after the original Bryson getting hit in face with a rope incident, he comes in HOT with this cheeky little video of him ducking under a rope.
My mind goes immediately to two pop culture references here.
1) Fringe Guy character from the Friday Beers comedy crew. If you haven't caught these videos, go poke around social for a while. HIGHLY worth the watch and I wouldn't be surprised to see this guy on SNL some day.
Oh yeah, Bryson seems like he may be the Fringe Guy for the Country Club Adjacent dudes. That's all.
2) Jerry Seinfeld may have some sage wisdom for Bryson. Referring to his infamous line to George,
"If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right."
If you're out there Bryson... maybe pull a George.
THE PERFECT DRIVING RANGE DOESN'T EXIST---
Alright, readers likely know me and my personality well enough to know that this is actually a complete nightmare of a driving range setup. In fact, put a wobbly driver in my hands and I think I've had this stress dream before.
That said, thinking through how I would even handle arriving for a range session at a mat squarely in the middle of the entire Miss America field has my brain in knots.
Obviously can't hit driver for the massive slice potential. Obviously can't take full swings on the off chance I hozel rocket one and destroy their career in pageantry. Obviously already sweating just imagining the social awkwardness of being the only guy at the range in this scenario.
But hey, I feel like some of you would do really well in this scenario. Bachelor-esque some could say. Bill and Krooks, for instance.
THE WEDDING I NEVER KNEW I WANTED
Golf Digest ran a whole feature on this couple's Masters theme wedding and it's top notch golf lifestyle content.
Cameo from Jim Nantz himself, casually flexing on what could be his own vineyard.
Masters themed neon signs, cookies, cake, the works.
Ring Bearers in white caddie jumpsuits.
And my favorite, his own green jacket for the reception.
The jacket is your favorite? Well, not exactly. It's only my favorite because of @fwgray hitting up poor Matt's Instagram comments with a "This isn't okay."
I continue to not understand what drives people to comment sincerely on social media. And I'm dumbfounded to think that this commenter actually thinks it's a real jacket. Even if it was... who cares? This is a LEGENDARY wedding.
Opportunity missed for my own, but there are always vow renewals......
AM I OUR LEAGUE'S FRINGE GUY?!?!!?
The punishment for last place is singing a song at the company holiday party—and ranking near the top on my list of nightmare scenarios with a wobbly driver at the driving range surrounded by Miss America contestants is karaoke.
Period.
Any and all karaoke.
Performing it myself. Watching others perform it. Watching people on TV perform it.
So the idea that I am now well on my way to perhaps singing for an entire office of people - 80% of whom I've never met in person - troubling.
But we forge on.
Whoops. Anyyyyyways.
Let's meet my opponent Too Tan Disco Dan aka Bad Birdie Danny
Title
Retail Account Executive
Hometown
Glendale, AZ (Basically Phoenix tho right?)
Favorite NFL Team
Arizona Cardinals ... sadly ('member Kurt Warner?)
Most likely team in our league to offer a garbage trade?
Bill. But if you were to ask Bill, it would be me. And he would be wrong. (Spicy)
Person you most want to beat in the league?
Without a doubt, Brandon. I've been playing mental mind games in him for weeks now in preparation. (I'm listening...)
Person you most regret drafting?
Dawson Knox .. you'd think the TE on the most explosive offense in the NFL would pop off in most games .. but that hasn't been the case. But the Buffalo Bills are a friend of the program so .. Dawson, if you're reading this, I believe in you.
Favorite club in the bag?
My driver. But I have been known to "Ric Flair" a couple to the right.
(Bill said your driver was sponsored by H&R Block?)
Worst club in the bag?
Wedgies. I've been getting them to Pin Heisman but having way too many tugged shots from that 40 - 90 yard real estate. (Okay, so you're one of these nickname slang kinda guys.)
Favorite BB polo pattern?
HUGE fan of Lani. The off white base with the blue-ish accent just hits.
Favorite part of Breakfast Balls?
I love getting my "What did Bryson do this week? " question answered. Guy is always doing something that is front page worthy.
Have a Breakfast Balls-worthy tip? Secrets to teaching an infant to love golf from day one?
Hit me up! The hot line is always open.
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