Iss. #107 | A Snake Gets Into the Korn

Writing NY Post headlines would be a blast

THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY KORN

Easily the most engaging story of the week was not, in fact, Rory winning a WWE-esque comeback to take FedEx Cup glory (more on that later.)

Instead, the honor goes to this Firepit Collective story about a cheater in Q School.

Now, the tale itself is actually quite long but I'll try to summarize. Our story centers on an aspiring pro on the Korn Ferry circuit, Matt Moroz. Matt claims to have 36 aces to his name including 8!!! on par 4s. A feat, mind you, accomplished just once in PGA Tour history.

So Matty boy is playing in a qualifying event last weekend and, like we've all seen from the Rodney Dangerfield types in our beer leagues, he continued to find himself in miraculously advantageous positions. A ball marked OB by a tournament spotter somehow is discovered in play, 30 yards up. A blind approach, clearly hit off line, is found in the center of the cup.

Anywho, Matt got exposed because the Korn Ferry had enacted a little golf sting of their own and had rules officials following him around. Apparently his reputation for being a bit of a conman preceded him.

It just goes to show that while the PGA always has the eyes of the world on them because of the cameras and crowds, even the next highest American league suffers the same shenanigans that plague local games across the world.

Favorite quote of the piece?

Matt, when describing how his off-line shot somehow made it into the cup—

"Maybe it bounced off the turkeys."

Maybe.

This one had a little WWE head scratch to it...

RORY FROM THE TOP ROPE

I'll admit, of all the crazy conspiracies I've tried to put out there in BB, this one reeks of "Scott's preemptively going into an end of PGA season depression so let's make some $#&% up."

But follow me for a second.

Over the past month or two, no one has been more outspoken about supporting the PGA over LIV than Rory. And especially since Tiger has been largely MIA in weekly tournaments, the PGA has needed a poster boy to fly their flag.

Rory, 6 shots back from Scottie Scheffler (flag bearer of a different sort, for elite level Scotts everywhere)—somehow pulls off the win to become the Tour Champion.

And it had me reminiscing back to my youth, a sprite 9 year old at the time, innocently watching as my beloved Hardy Boyz lose a tag team WWF match to the scourge of my young existence... the Dudley Boyz. (Brief aside, never realized how incredibly imagination-less these names were until just now...)

Never once considering that these matches could be scripted, I yearned to see the Hardys finally earn what was theirs after dozens of angel flips or whatever they called em off the top rope. Instead, it was just the chubby Dudleys, throwing em through a table and winning the belt.

All this to say, if the PGA WERE TO RIG A MATCH, having Rory win the Tour Championship as he and Tiger go to battle with the LIV, would be convenient to say the least.

But also, fantastic season Rory, I'm probably insane.

RORY—GOAT GOOD GUY

Not moments after I concocted my "the PGA is actually the WWE" conspiracy, I came across this video of Rory hugging Scottie's whole family. A move that takes a hard left turn from the kind of crap Vince McMahon was up to.

Instead it's just 100% pure wholesome content, tapped straight from the heartwarming tree.

Rory to Papa Scheff - "He deserves it."

Papa Scheff to Rory - "I love you, too."

Mama Scheff to Rory - "You kicked butt."

I mean this is straight out of Leave It to Beaver era television, people.

"What's Leave It to Beaver?" - asks 85% of my readership.

"It was this show kind of like Andy Griffith, super wholesome." - I reply.

"Andy Griffith?" - 85%

"You know where Ron Howard from Happy Days got his acting break." - Me

"Ron Howard acted? Happy Days?" - 85%

"Forget it." - Me, Charlie Brown walking away.

Can you have too much of a good thing? Answer: nope.

GOAT-FEST 2022

Not golf related per se, but I'm satisfied with the tangental country club connection that tennis and golf share. Or maybe we can just appreciate absolute greatness. It's been a fantastic consolation to the PGA season ending to be able to watch Serena's swan song at the US Open.

It also seems that GOATs travel in herds...