Iss. 7 The A's to your Q's
This week we're getting on the 1's and 2's to answer all of the burning questions you submitted to the first of many Breakfast Balls mailbags. Let's get after it like Morikawa on a driveable par 4.
Question: What driver are y’all hitting bombs with?
Answer: Any and all of them.
Question: Are hotdogs sandwiches?
Answer: That's like trying to define water. Some guys in the office believe it’s meat between buns, so of course it's a sando. Others are more traditional and find the dog can't hang with the deli dudes. Let's just agree that we'll be eating them on our way to the back 9 all weekend.
Question: What is the ideal offense for an immediate shotgunning of a white claw? Looking for a top 3 here.
Answer: No judgement if you're a claw guy.
Question: Why do you keep selling out of polos?
Answer: Why can't you get court-side seats to Laker games? Why is the earth round? Why are Phil Mickelson's calves so big?
Question: I’m 6’ 5” and have a big chest & arms. When will you have 2xl shirts for guys like Brooks.
Answer: Wow, this guy definitely lifts. It's a great question friend. Although we do offer 2XL polos, it's our bad for not incorporating adequate space in the sleeves for all you absolute savages out there. On the flip side, you could pump the brakes on the 100lb curls and consider Zumba.
Question: Where do you get the inspiration design for the polos?
Answer: We’re not permitted to release most of the details. What we can say is it involves consuming some adult beverages and Jock Jamz: Volume 1 turned waaayyyyy up.
Question: You get one chance to play with your ultimate golf foursome, who you picking dead or alive?
- Zack: Tiger Woods, Arny P, & Anthony Kim
- Jason: SB2k17 Boys (Rickie, JT, & Jordan)
- Tim: Happy Gilmore, Chubbs Peterson, Shooter McGavin, & Bob Barker
- Jeff: Tiger Woods, Rickie Fowler, & Curtis Strange
- Steven: Tiger Woods, Pops, & Jack Nicklaus
- Jo: Tiger Woods, Samuel L. Jackson, & my hubby Terry
- Robby: Dennis Rodman, Vijay Singh, & Oprah
Question: Best 5 word golf phrase?
Answer: "That’s a one for me."
Question: Can I go golfing with you guys?
Answer: Absolutely. Just send the jet and drop a pin. But seriously, let’s play. We just moved offices to Arizona and are looking for more people to mix it up with. Shoot us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org if you want to get out there.
Question: How do I fix my right slice?
Answer: At least it’s not a wrong slice. And now that we’re thinking about it, the right slice is definitely spicy pepperoni. The jalapeños are game changers. Anything but pineapples.
Question: How do I hit absolute piss missiles off the tee?
Answer: Wear Bad Birdie and swing f***ing hard.
Question: Best tip for some consistency off the tee?
Answer: When you get to impact try not to suck. If that doesn’t work you could try lowering your standards.
Question: How happy were you when Rob missed that putt?
Answer: "Probably as happy as watching Tiger win the 2019 Masters." - Jason
Question: What’s the best part about working for Bad Birdie?
Answer: Aside from all the holes in one? Hmmm. The open bar at the office ain't too shabby, golf streaming in the office 24/7 doesn't suck, and flying in Robby's (we're on a nickname basis) private jet as a weekend cruiser is kinda tight.
Question: Any more special edition shirts for major tournaments?
Answer: Short answer, yes. We're cook’n up some funky special edition prints that may shock and awe El Tigre.
Question: Does Bad Birdie intend on adding golf towels to its merch inventory?
Answer: Never been big towel guys in any phase of life. Team air dry. With that being said. Stay tuned my friend.
Question: How did you guys get started? What does it take.
Question: When’s bad birdie going to sponsor some pros? Would love to see those threads at Augusta.
Answer: Yes. Our primary concern is that the Tour would become too boring when we already know the winner before the tournament begins. Kinda undermines our entire company mission. But if you know a guy who knows a guy let’s totally hop on a call.
Question: Will you get into the golf glove game?
Answer: We're dabbling.
Question: Which old school professional golfer had the best style?
Answer: Oh we've got a troika of our faves.
Welp, there you have it. Thanks for your questions and for being a kickass community of big stick swinging bombers. Don't know about you, but we can't stop thinking about ol' Robby's foursome. See ya out there.
Weekend to-do list: SWING HARD