Breakfast Balls enthusiasts—there is only ONE more issue between now and #200!!
And in the spirit of the show Yellowstone, picture me celebrating in the courtyard of Bad Birdie HQ surrounded by bales of hay with Lainey Wilson performing on stage as I gaze out at the vast wilderness of... Scottsdale, Arizona.
In the meantime, I'll be asking a series of questions at the end of each week's issue to help get ready. So if you'll do your best Rip impression—brooding nearby and ready to ride to the ends of the Earth at the drop my hat—I'd appreciate any and all responses as I will definitely have a heavy reader-contributed portion to the issue.
Now, let's get back to our normal programming.
Father and Son get some great news
WOODS, QUALIFIED
I swore not to get too over excited about any of these Charlie Woods playing golf stories.
But I can’t ignore the latest news that Charlie (15) officially qualified for his first U.S. Junior Amateur. He placed first in his qualifier by shooting -1 after carding a bogey and double bogey on the first two holes.
Following in his dad’s footsteps, he’ll tee it up with 263 other golfers and the top 64 after two rounds will advance to the match play stage. Tiger competed in his first at age 14 where he lost in the semifinals—and then proceeded to win the next three years in a row.
And in other Woods qualifying news, Tiger will earn the first ever PGA lifetime exemption to every single elevated event. There are currently eight elevated events per season each with limited fields and juiced prize pots.
The announcement is absolutely insane from a competitive standpoint but totally understandable from a marketing standpoint. We already know that he’ll only play maybe 1-3 per year, if that.
But looking ahead, I'm loving the idea of him being paired up with his son in one of the elevated events some day. And who’s to say that we couldn’t see a Woods-Woods final pairing at Riv in like 10 years?
Electric.
(In theory)
Dahmen crowdsourcing his cash games
I'M LOOKING FOR A...
This is my literal dream in life. Throw up a post on social asking for a round in a random metro area around a certain time—then watch the comments blow up with a healthy mix of jokes and legit country club invites.
I can’t get enough "they’re just like us" stories and this ticks all the boxes. Would love to know who and where Joel eventually played. Some killers invites in there.
But on a more, perhaps, depressing note about how deeply entrenched in my brain TikTok culture is now... the real reason I highlight this post is because I need to get this ear worm out.
Did anyone else read this post as if it were that "Looking for a man in finance" girl from TikTok? The one that has since blown up and been turned into countless techno remixes.
I'm looking for a game in Scottsdale,
I'm looking for a game in Scottsdale,
Saturday,
All cash,
Good greens.
It's mind-boggling to me how a completely normal seeming post on social can just grab the nation's attention and rocket these people to fame. Chik-fil-A sauce girl? Came and went. The hawk-too girl is currently flooding feeds, though I won't get too much deeper there as I like to keep this a family program.
That's all I got, just sharing a little slice of weird.
Who is this guy's publicist??
THE BRYSON TOUR IN FULL SWING
Bryson’s trophy tour has already hit all channels and outlets.
He shot content the night of, having imbibed a few adult bevvies, launching glow balls.
Every media outlet has done the “Bryson is cool now” content.
He even popped by Jimmy Fallon.
I was listening to the Fairway Rollin' podcast from The Ringer where they highlighted the simple difference between Bryson rolling around with the trophy anywhere that will have him. And us not hearing a peep from Scottie really after he won the jacket. I think it would be pretty cool if the Masters jacket had to go on a Stanley Cup style tour of the country afterwords.
All this now has me ultra suspicious of how quick it happened for Bryson, though. How calculated is this massive run he's been on? Did he make a publicist switch this year? Whoever is behind this all is elite because it's been fast and furious—and I don’t hate it.
Outside of my publicist conspiracy theory, my favorite post-US Open Bryson piece came when a Golf Channel reporter, Johnson Wagner, attempted the now infamous bunker shot on 18 after dusk.
He takes his first whack and completely skulls it over the green. But then, out of nowhere, Bryson shows up with the trophy and demands Johnson try again.
Johnson, totally flustered, stumbles through a semi-interview before hitting his shot. Even asks Bryson if he thought he might hit the clubhouse from the bunker shot...
Then he squares up, hits it, and proclaims he chunked it. Only for Bryson to follow up with "No, that's perfect."
And it is. He rolls it to almost the same exact distance as Bryson's. INCREDIBLE TV.
I read somewhere that Tour players would have about a 1% chance to get it as close as Bryson did. And my man does it on TV with Bryson right behind him watching. It’s such a pure moment.
The Bostonians keep getting richer
HIDEKI IS IN
Boston has been having a week.
The Celtics won the NBA title in a matchup that I was somehow rooting against both teams.
Luka hits a bomb three and I’m rolling my eyes but pumping my fist in excitement.
Celtics blow out the Mavs and I was jeering Kyrie but annoyed/downplaying how easy the Celtics playoff run was.
(Uck, when will the Bulls get good again? We got Josh Giddey... yay.)
Back to golf.
Filling the hole left by Hatton when he jumped to LIV on the Boston team in the new Tiger and Rory golf league is Hideki!
He will join Rory McIlroy, Adam Scott and Keegan Bradley for the inaugural season.
While I know this deal has likely been in the works for weeks, I like to imagine that at some level Hideki saw the Rory meltdown on Sunday (poor guy) and just said F it, let’s do this thing buddy.
#200 approaches...
THE FINAL COUNTDOWN
As I teased at the start, the countdown to Breakfast Balls Issue #200 is on!
To say I know EXACTLY what I'm doing for it would be a biiiiiiiit of a stretch. But what I do know is that I'll need your help because it will feature a heavy dose of you—the readers.
So over the next few issues, I'll end each week with a simple question or prompt for you to answer. I'll choose some of my favorites to feature in the 200th issue and have some handsome prizes for those who make the cut!
Last week I asked: In the length of a Tweet (or a NBC Sports news article about Scottie getting a haircut), describe the best round of golf you've ever played? Many of you chose to ignore the "in the length of a Tweet" part—or maybe just decided to start a thread and f@#& my stupid character count.
THIS WEEK'S QUESTION
Who are your favorite five golfers in either PGA, LIV, LPGA or another Tour right now?
NOTE - Not just the best ones or the ones you think will win. Just the ones you love to watch and root for regardless of how realistic their chance may be.
Have a Breakfast Balls-worthy tip? Reading any good golf books? Want to play some G?
Hit me up! The hot line is always open.
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