WHEN WILL YOU RETURN?
Scott didn't give me a picture for the header so I just chose a completely random one.
-Bill
As you all know, Scott is STILL in France, probably rippin' cigs and drinking wine. And as much as I love to mess with Scott, he deserves the break. The man has logged 3+ years of straight fire Breakfast Balls issues. Impressive stuff.
However during his hiatus we've been left naked and afraid trying to figure out Klaviyo, and how to write in a way that feels more like a long winded soapbox speech of articulation and diction. Therefore, we've assembled the Bad Birdie Brand team to come together and try and figure this out. Please excuse typo's as Scott is our resident spell checker.
BONJOUR B*****S
For the first segment, we take it to the man behind "banner."
OUR VERY OWN GRAPHIC DESIGNER,
MICHAEL BUTLER
MICHAEL'S CORNER
RYDER CUP PREDICTIONS
The Ryder Cup is right around the corner, and if you're anything like me, you'll be there at Marco Simone Golf and Country Club on Tuesday and Thursday of practice rounds.
If you're not anything like me, you'll be waking up/staying up to watch starting at 1am EST. That sucks.
Anyway, there's too much talk around this Ryder Cup for me to provide any insight that you wouldn't have already read or heard about. Which is why this is the first preview you'll ever read covering the 2033 Ryder Cup.
Taking place at The Olympic Golf Club in San Francisco, California, the course that is famous for a guy wearing a Great Br*tain styled Peruvian beanie (ha, take that imperialism) interrupting Webb Simpson's winning speech. Here are my takes as I look forward to the '33 Ryder Cup.
1) MANY people will wear the very same aforementioned beanie as an allusion to the infamous birdman. Remember this in 9 years.
2) The marine layer will still be a talking point for the commentators because history repeats itself.
3) Brian Harman's captained US team will edge out Tyrrell Hatton's Euros.
4) Ralph Lauren will no longer be the clothing sponsor for the US team since they have done such a boring job for the last 6 years.
I hope you're just as excited as I am for the upcoming Ryder Cup, just shy of a decade from now. As for the one happening in a couple weeks, come find me. I look like an average 20ish year old white guy and if you're the first one to do so, you can have your very own free Bad Birdie polo!!!
Next up, we take it down to the guy responsible for every ad you've ever seen of ours..
OUR G2 CHAMPION AND GROWTH MARKETING MANAGER,
TREVOR "T-RAW" FAYLOR
And Trevor didn't give me a header line so I'll test this one out:
HOW MANY MORE IDIOTS THINK THEY CAN TAKE ON THE LPGA?!
How many times has some single-digit handicap keyboard warrior claimed he would beat an LPGA player? This nonsense has got to stop.
As far as I can recall, this is the first instance an LPGA player has offered to disprove someone. Someone get me the good people's number from The Match to get this going.
Can you imagine how good Charles Barkley's commentary would be while watching this unreasonably confident guy get smoked by a top LPGA pro? I'm betting everything I can on Charley here to serve him a slice of humble pie at the turn. My only request is that the format be stroke play instead of match play. This way he has to play until the very end - no putting him out of his misery early like Tiger vs Stephen Ames.
Fingers crossed this actually happens, we gotta stop this kind of delusion.
TIGER SPOTTING!!!!
Tiger was spotted yesterday for the first time in months out at Liberty National along side Sir Rickie Fowler.
Now I know what you're thinking, "We've been here before". True, however he's got a little pepper in his stepper again.
He was not only hitting range balls, but confidently addressing questions from the gallery while doing so. Who says people can't multitask. Hot Mic'd Tiger never disappoints. Remember the ole "Good f***ing bet" one liner? Classic.
Yesterday we even got, "Don't watch f***ing Youtube, go hit balls". Tough day for the Youtube golfer's of the world.
However, I'm a HUGE fan of the Youtubers. What better entertainment at night than watching a bunch of amateurs rip 20 McDoubles and play 18, or getting a glimpse of Grant's smile, my god it's perfect.
I cant help but think Tiger is out there shaking his head at me. It's like disappointing your parents. Don't worry Bob and the boys, I still tuned in yesterday. Phenomenal episode per usual.
One of our brand team members shot a personal record the other day..
Now, everyone always says I'm super humble and never like to toot my own horn (they're always saying it about me, always)...
HOWEVER, I played the round of my life and I'm here to brag!
First I'd like to take the time to recognize my playing partners. The two G's of the product team, Geoffrey and Grayden and one of Geoffrey's out of town friends. Man he was in for a show.
The round started pretty casually for me. Missing fairways, avoiding power lines, hitting miracle shots through trees (90% air), and of course sampling some of Silverado's finest Fireball shooters (it was aged to perfection).
As one of my friends put it after I so humbly posted this exact graphic to my IG (@billymo7), I "par'd the lights out of that place." Which brings me to 18.
No surprise here I was destined for failure on the 18th. I knew I had a PR going, and I knew I'd f**k it up, it's just what I do!
As I approached the par-3, 18th hole, all I wanted to do was get it on the green, oh excuse me, ISLAND green. That's right, water everywhere.
And I did what I thought I would do... topped the absolute shit (sorry Jason it's imperative to the story to emphasize just how hard I topped it) out of the ball. This is where it gets fluky AF. The ball hits the concrete wall surrounding the entire lake. Goes about 30 feet up in the air, clearing the lake, the green side bunker, and landing about 25 feet from the hole safely on the green. Just how I drew it up.
I got hammered that night. I didn't tell ANYONE at the bar about my round. Swear.
Anyways, get home soon Scott!!
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