The tweet that derailed my week
GOLF'S ALL-STAR WEEKEND
Making the rounds on social this week was the tweet from CBS golf columnist Kyle Porter seen above.
As my title suggests, it completely sent my mind RACING over the possibilities. 1,000 different competitions is right but, in the interest of brevity, I've outlined my four strongest thoughts below on what a full weekend of signature events could look like.
Thought #1
Skill competitions would be a must. There is the obvious home run derby meets long drive format that Kyle mentions. But might I add two other skill based events.
First, a putting event with stations set up at varying distances like the 3 point competition, including a money ball worth two points. It's timed so they have to read the green on the fly. And each round would feature a different hole with five new lines so no one could get too comfortable.
Second comes courtesy of a buddy of mine Alex who suggested a HORSE style event where players could hit any shot they want but have to specify what the ball is going to do first. Low stinger underneath that branch? 102 yard wedge shot? Maybe even set up obstacles throughout for players to use for added difficulty? Options are limitless.
Thought #2
Host cities. In the same way the NFL draft does so well with each city putting their own local spin on the event, the golf all-star cities would do the same. Bills mafia sets up a tailgate for a central New York one. Vegas rolls out the Cirque Du Soleil performers.
But my other host city thought... no PGA level courses. Set this thing up at whatever course has the best vibes. Local muni? So be it. Make it a party. Connect with the people. This weekend is for us!
Thought #3
Got to have the celebrity softball game. But we've seen too many pro-am formats already so what I'd like to see is a little sundown/under the lights tournament.
DJs are spinning, celebrities are drinking a bit and letting loose, and we get a different perspective on the round since it's under the lights.
Thought #4
All Star Game itself has to be Ryder Cup style. But I want captains to pick teams, everyone is mic'd up, and every green has Waste Management vibes.
...should we just do this thing ourselves?
The Senate discovers the real Saudi master plan
ALL FOR AUGUSTA?
Lot of questions remain after the Senate hearing on Tuesday around the proposed PGA-PIF partnership. Top of my list was... who on Earth are these two schmo-hawks?
Turns out, these two (possibly) AI-generated men in suits are PGA Tour COO Ron Price and board member Jimmy Dunne.
I won't get into a majority of the details from the hearing because it wasn't really that groundbreaking and, frankly, I'm over digging into this story. Just wake me up when we figure out what's going to happen here and let's fast forward to The Open next weekend.
BUT, in my opinion, the biggest revelation from all this Senate discovery was a line item from the proposal that potentially could be the "Larry David level petty" reason why this entire thing even happened in the first place...
That line item? A membership at Augusta for Yasir Al-Rumayyan, the governor of the PIF.
Yep, Yasssss Man (as his close CLOSE friends call him) snuck in a little carve-out for himself in the deal it seems. He's treating this whole thing like I used to ask my buddy Matt for free iced tea when he was on shift at Einstein Brothers bagels in high school.
I've been re-watching Curb Your Enthusiasm and this has "spite league" written all over it. Yassss Man was rejected from Augusta. And to get back, he decided to fund an entirely new golf league.
Pretty, pretty, prettttttyyyyy good.
Year two is in the books!
US ADAPTIVE OPEN RECAP
This week marked the second ever US Adaptive Open—a 54-hole stroke play championship open to males and females, professionals and amateurs, with either physical impairment, sensory impairment (vision), or intellectual impairment.
The event was held at Pinehurst No. 6 and featured 96 players across eight impairment categories. Your two champions are Kipp Popert of England (left) and Ryanne Jackson of Seminole, Fla. (right).
The more you dig in to these stories, the more inspired and excited you get that this open even exists. So a giant kudos to the USGA for providing the platform for all golfers to compete at the highest of levels.
Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the action this week:
“It seems a little weird to think about being a champion, but it’s going to be awesome, seeing my name up there [in the USGA Museum’s Hall of Champions] with some of the greatest of the game.” – Ryanne Jackson; overall women’s champion
“Right now I’m a little emotional. I just think this is the greatest thing. Our whole goal is to come out and not for you to look at us as [having] disabilities but as golfers.” – Larry Celano, 54, 4th place in men’s seated player category
“It feels great. I’m really proud of myself for how far I’ve come. It’s really fun seeing the hard work I put in. Now my goal is to get back to scratch on my handicap and hopefully maybe play some college.” – Max Togisala, 19; winner, men’s seated player category
“I definitely want young people who are visually impaired, doesn't matter if they’re boys or girls, to know that there are ways for you to have a lot of fun, even if you have a visual impairment." – Amanda Cunha, 19; winner, women’s visual impairment category
This week in golf innovations
IF YOU HIT IT, YOU KEEP IT
This week in golf innovations is a tournament contest that is pure genius.
Never encountered this before but it popped up on TikTok from user @abbeyylane who is seen here putting a golf ball onto the prize green. And apparently, whatever you hit with your ball, you keep!
Excuse me if this is a tried and true contest out there that I've miraculously avoided—but WOW do I love this.
It's easy enough that anyone can do it.
It's clever in that you can bury a prize on the hardest line and bait people into getting lower prizes as they aim for the gold.
It's giving me carnival games!
It's immediately going into rotation for future
Tiny Putters events around Los Angeles... and perhaps a Bad Birdie Tour near you???
Newport is nice!
HAPPY 150 FROM JACK AND I
WE MADE IT TO 150!!!!!
It's that time of year again where we reach a BB milestone and I get to gush about how much I love this Breakfast Balls community—so for those who have heard the spiel... this is it. This is the last thing. So close it out, forward to a friend, do whatever.
For those still reading, we started this newsletter almost three years ago now. And you've made it through my super SUPER weird early days where I used Women's Health Magazine to overcome a golfing dry spell. You've made it through my year long obsession with the apparently kid. And you've deciphered my sometimes manic levels of punctuation.
All to help grow the best f@#&&% golf (and golf-adjacent) newsletter. Period.
I read every one of your responses. Sometimes I respond. Other times, my son screams "all done!!!" in my face at breakfast so I never make it back.
But I appreciate you all and we've got some huge things planned for the next chapter of Breakfast Balls that I think you are going to love.
So I will leave you with my latest awesome introspective moment where I got to visit the Bad Birdie store out in Newport with my son. We sat in the infamous Bad Birdie golf cart. And dreamt about the day we can play golf for real together.
It's an honor to chat with (but more realistically talk at) you all each week and next stop is Issue 200 and beyond!
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