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New Rory, Who Dis?
PGA v. LIV — "OVER IT"
Heading into the PGA Championship, it certainly seems like the whole PGA v. LIV thing has already been downgraded to "meh" status.
We made it through the Masters relatively unscathed and if the public consumed that tournament like I did, then the result was high-quality golf where the popular names came to compete. No animosity. No real dropoff in performance from the LIV crew. Just great golf.
So as we head into the PGA, whether its feud fatigue or people just enjoying the fact that we still get four tournaments every year where all of the world's best golfers can compete—the whole PGA v. LIV thing was basically a non-factor.
And nowhere was this more evident than in Rory's pressers where he basically did a complete 180 on his outspoken days of ole and essentially pleaded the fifth on all things LIV. Giving answers like "Yeah" and "I don't have a crystal ball." Rory ain't playin' ball anymore, folks.
Unless of course, we're talking football...
Rory drinks the CNY Kool-Aid
WELCOME TO THE MAFIA!
A topic Rory seemed very willing to talk about? The Buffalo Bills. Specifically, Josh Allen.
On Tuesday, Rory revealed he'd love to meet Josh Allen IRL—and was subsequently asked about his thoughts on the Bills. Producing the following sound bite. (A sound bite that's admittedly off-putting to hear from someone with an Irish accent.)
“It certainly makes it easier to root for the Bills when Josh Allen is throwing the football.”
Then, on Wednesday, his dreams came true as the two met on the Oak Hill grounds.
Let me just say, I eat this kind of content up. It's continually a great reminder that most athletes (and celebs) are just as awkward and uncomfortable meeting people as I am. Rory hits them with a "you guys having a great day?" To which Josh hits him with a "nice course we're having huh?" To which Rory hits back with a dad-level recounting of the exact years and months he has played Oak Hill.
It all gives the same energy as meeting the in-laws or getting stuck in the bachelor party foursome with the random home friends that you never met when you and your buddy were in college.
Anywho, long story short, Rory's wife grew up in central New York, and he's a Bills fan. Apparently.
WAY WAY TL;DR ALERT
OAK HILL AIN'T AFRAID OF NO GHOSTS
This is Buffalo Bill.
Famed Wild West celeb, namesake of the NFL franchise, brief resident of the Rochester area, and currently a haunter-in-residence at Oak Hill. So they say.
In this absolutely gargantuan piece from golf.com, writer Nick Piastowski goes on a quest to try and see if the tales are true that Buffalo Bill's ghost actually wanders the grounds. Spoiler alert, no luck.
But if you're looking for a quirky golf story that you're likely not reading elsewhere it was still a fun read. Got to respect any golf writer at this point who has the chance to write something that's not about golf course architecture, who will or won't compete this weekend, or analytics breakdowns that always seem to come down to "if you can hit the fairway, strike your irons well... and putt, then you've got a shot." Oh, really, is that what the numbers say? No wonder I still can't break 80.
Best part from the piece, a sneaky savage news article from 1909 aptly titled "Buffalo Bill Plays Golf".
"The Colonel has a reputation as a crack shot with his “gun,” but in shooting at the golf ball he has a long ways to go..."
No mincing words there. Yikes.
Ready for this headline?
I'M BUFFALOED THAT BILL GETS TO GO TO HAWAII
50% of the reason for this section is so I could reference the the longest grammatically correct sentence containing only one word.
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
The translation? Bison from the city of Buffalo that other bison from the city of Buffalo bully, also bully bison from the city of Buffalo.
Final fun buffalo fact—it also means to perplex or confuse.
Great, now that I've officially forced about 2,500 people to unsubscribe from this newsletter, we can get into the other 50%.
The story is, I was scrolling IG. Saw Bad Birdie was dropping some new heat on the Stories. Pulled up the above. And my jaw dropped.
Look, financially it makes zero sense to send me anywhere. I get that. I'm dropping fire week after week in America's Greatest City—beautiful San Diego, California. No travel needed.
But come on!!! Bucket Hat Bill gets to go to Hawaii?!?!?!?
What a week for the Bills of the world, huh?
(Also, we legit need some models for that shoot still, so if you know anyone or are anyone... hit us up on Instagram.)
On a more serious note...
REMEMBERING AN LPGA LEGEND
On Tuesday, we lost an absolute legend of the game as Marlene Hagge-Vossler passed away at the age of 89.
Who is Marlene?
In 1950, Marlene and a dozen other women founded the LPGA. Marlene... was 16 years old!
I know I've made similar jokes before, but at 16 I was still giggling over ordering 10 Little Caesar's pizzas for our high school computer club because it was such a comical amount of pizza for one 5' 3" child-looking kid to hold.
Marlene? Founded the damn LPGA.
Among her other accomplishments:
- At age 10, she won the Long Beach City Boys Junior. Narrowly defeating a boy she had a crush on, who then never spoke to her again because "A girls wasn't supposed to beat a boy." Dodged a bullet there, Marlene.
- At age 13, she won the Los Angeles Women's City Championship, on a course where the sign stated ‘Children Under 14 Are Not Allowed.’
- That same year, she also won the Palm Springs Women's Championship, Northern California Open and became the youngest player to make the cut at the U.S. Women’s Open, finishing eighth.
- At age 15, she became the youngest named Female Athlete of the Year by The Associated Press.
Needless to say, Marlene was a friggin' powerhouse. Mad respect.
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