Iss. #123 | My New Year's Resolution Edition

My New Year's Resolutions to you all.

I, BAD BIRDIE SCOTT, PLEDGE THE FOLLOWING...

I hate resolutions. (HAH, didn't see that comin' did you?)

It's true though. Never made a resolution that lasted past February but, in the spirit of reading all your responses to the holiday giveaway and hearing your kind words throughout the holiday season—I do want to throw some intentions into the world about what to expect from Breakfast Balls this year.

"Because I'm just a souuullllll whose intentions are gooooood."

Real weird vibe this morning, let's ride it.

Resolution #1

I WILL GET MYSELF MIXED UP INTO SOME PGA STORY

Resolution 1 and I already have completely delusional visions of grandeur for my 2023. But hey, they all fade by February anyways so whatever.

The biggest case from 2022 of a golf reporter/journalist/writer getting deeply involved in the story they're covering was obviously Alan Shipnuck and his LIV/Phil involvement.

My level of access to anything golf-related rarely extends beyond the internet so... perhaps the Scott Stallings story this week is my best case scenario.

On the 0.1% chance that you hadn't seen this one—some real estate agent from Georgia named Scott Stallings received the PGA pro Scott Stallings' Masters invite. In a word? Incredible.

With no other way to communicate, non-pro Scott sent a DM to pro-Scott with the iconic line "I'm really not kidding I promise."

Since then, every news outlet has run their piece on it, Golf Digest (now getting into the podcast game) had non-pro Scott on to discuss. And I'm left pondering, what is the easiest way for me to Forrest Gump my way into a golf story this year? The answer is still unclear, but we're adding it to my resolution list nonetheless.

Resolution #2

I WILL FIGHT CHAT GPT WITH EVERY OUNCE OF MY BEING

Let's discuss Chat GPT for a quick minute here. For those who haven't played around on it yet, Chat GPT is an AI tool where you can pretty much type in any request, and the tool will spit out a chat conversation either answering your research questions or creating new content.

It's being heralded as the best rival to Google since Google. It's going to replace writers everywhere. It's going to revolutionize... blah blah.

My resolution here is simple. Continue to write in a way that "breaks all the rules of grammar"—a Breakfast Balls reader quote I will continue to cherish for the rest of my life—so Chat GPT can never replace me.

So if you see me randomly capitALize things in a sentence. Forget a comma. Throw in a gratuitous and folksy "ya" here and there. Just know that it's no longer my own sloppy writing or a typo. It's just me trying to signal to you that I am not an AI writing tool.

And I will continue to use this GIF until you all privately message me to say you have seen all of Happy Endings and loved it.

But just for funsies, I did ask Chat GPT to write a TV show pitch about a golf writer named Scott...

Scott is a struggling golf writer who can't seem to catch a break. But when he's given the opportunity to cover a prestigious golf tournament, he must navigate the cutthroat world of sports journalism and prove to his skeptical boss that he has what it takes. Follow Scott's journey as he uncovers the secrets of the golf world and finds his place in it.

$#@&, that's good.

Resolution #3

I WILL FIGURE OUT HOW TO PLAY MORE GOLF

An overwhelming amount of you suggested that you'd want to see a Bad Birdie Tour or Bad Birdie events find their way into the 2023 plans...

And while it was a sample size of one, I had a blast meeting and playing with readers down here in San Diego in 2021 (2022 postponed due to unforgiving Jack conditions hah)—and would love to chat with y'all more about ways to play.

I was also inspired by this piece from Golfer's Journal a few years back about a group that gets together and smacks whiffle balls around "courses" they create in abandoned lots around Phoenix.

The point being, even if it isn't 18, I just need to swing some clubs more. And ideally, my Resolution 3B is that I swing 'em more with you all and continue growing the Bad Birdie community into one of the strongest in the game.

Long story longer, this one is doable people—so hit me up!

Resolution #4

I WILL COMMIT TO MORE LPGA COVERAGE

Not exactly the greatest of weeks to commit to more LPGA coverage as the season doesn't kick off until January 19th with the Hilton Tournament of Champions and only one tournament in February before things get going for real in March.

BUT—I have a feeling that with the record prize purses introduced this season and a host of talented, recognizable stars, the LPGA is poised for a massive year in the eyes of the casual fan.

The news this week? Well, let's say I'm not the only one that could commit to more coverage as a basic Google News search for LPGA news returned... Lydia Ko's wedding, Kathy Whitworth's passing... last week, and Sophia Popov announcing she is pregnant. We can save what that says about journalism bias for another time.

So instead, I'll kick us off with BREAKING news. The merch team has heard every word from those of you ladies who emailed me and contacted HQ about expanded options and inventory. Their message: "We have some SERIOUS heat coming this year, stay tuned."

And finally, let's end with an oldie but a goodie,

LPGA SUPERLATIVES