200 Issues (The first issue of Breakfast Balls went out on Friday July 3rd, almost exactly four years ago today.)
208 Weeks (I missed a few weeks in there but 200/208 ain't a bad completion %.)
~100,000 Weekly readers (Plenty of appreciation coming for you all shortly.)
~310,000 Words (Barely over halfway to reaching War and Peace.)
I've compared myself quite favorably to a lot of iconic, larger than life personalities in my Breakfast Balls introductions over the last few weeks—but as I write this week's issue I have to begin with a simple statement.
Thank You!!
I am humbled that all of you make Breakfast Balls part of your Friday morning routines. The greatest compliments I ever get are hearing that your weekend doesn't begin until you've read Breakfast Balls over your coffee. Or perhaps my favorite compliment of all—this is the only brand newsletter I have ever read... ever.
As I write this, I'm actually starting to feel that slightly burning feeling near my tear ducts. The one that, when it happens in public, you have to immediately rub your eye, looking around in the air as if you can somehow spot the mysterious gnat or single atom of pollen that must've gotten in your eye.
But before I take a hard pivot back into gassing myself up and packing this thing with hyper specific references that appeal primarily to me, please know how much I appreciate each of you.
For opening this email.
For reading the opening sentences.
For actually making through the entire thing.
For emailing insane stories back to me.
For trekking out to the middle of nowhere California desert to play golf with me.
For mistaking me for customer service and asking me to track down your size Large Chimpin' Ain't Easy polo from 18 months back that was actually just delivered to your weird neighbor who opened it and now wears it around town themselves.
For supporting me and this newsletter.
And most importantly, supporting Bad Birdie—the best d@#& golf brand in the game.
This issue is a celebration of you.
(... and me, too.)
A lot of you got deep on me...
WE LOVE GOLF
It should be no surprise that the question which inspired the most responses over the last few weeks was "Why do you love golf?". I mean, this is a golf newsletter, in theory.
What did surprise me was how just how many reasons you had—and some of y'all got DEEP on me!
We had a lot of responses like Kyle D: "I love golf because of how versatile it is. It can be a quiet afternoon 9 holes by yourself to decompress from work or a foursome with the crew on Saturday listening to tunes and playing for benjamins."
Amen. Though I'm still a consistent driver away from feeling comfortable playing for Benjamins. Maybe an Alexander Hamilton or two.
Some of you went the landscaping route like Kelly H: "It’s about playing outside with my friends… in a beautiful yard where the weeds are all pulled and that someone else mowed before I got there!"
Or philosophical like Kerry D: "Just when I think I’m on top of the world, I play a round and am reminded that I am an insignificant speck on this planet."
I was envious of all the people who quoted golf as a four hour per round endeavor. Southern California may have a year round golf season—but good luck finding a last-minute tee time or a sub 5 hour round on any public course nearby.
Some of you have some low bars like Ana A: "It’s a sport I can enjoy and not get hurt." As a thirty something, I'm already proving this statement shaky with some tweaked backs here and some irritating blisties (blisters) there.
But the most popular theme I found in all the responses took a somber yet weirdly empowering tone. Best summarized by this quote from Grant Z: "It allows me to get away from all the other problems of the world."
It's probably one of my own favorite things about golf, if I'm being honest. We all have some crazy stuff that happens in our lives, but it's pretty f@#^&^ cool that for a few hours, golf allows us the chance to just be outside, focus on something both meaningful and in other ways meaningless, and be present with one another.
I love golf.
Golf phrases that don't exist
A TWO-WAY TIE FOR FIRST
Inspired by Will and Rusty's Playdate on TikTok (and the podcast I guess), I've been loving these golf sayings that don't exist.
The premise is to take a golf phrase but apply it to a regular life situation. Like one of my own favorites, "Is that slope adjusted?" – used to confirm whether someone's ETA is actually true.
"I'll be there in 15." - You
"Is that slope adjusted?" - Me
"Okay, more like 25 because I've got to grab gas still." - You
"Is that slope adjusted?" - Me
"Okay, more like 25 because I've got to grab gas still." - You
Readers submitted their own and here are the two that tied for first.
From Trevor R., "Breakfast ball" — used when requesting a do-over and you can't drop the name of my own newsletter at me without getting some respect.
His example:
Guy to girl at bar - "Are you from Tennessee?"
Girl - "Yeah that's not going to work"
Guy - "Fair enough, I'll take a breakfast ball. Can I buy you a drink?"
Girl - "Well, I guess, yeah"
And from Luke L., “You’re going to have to mark that.” - when you don’t believe someone can actually do it.
Girl - "Yeah that's not going to work"
Guy - "Fair enough, I'll take a breakfast ball. Can I buy you a drink?"
Girl - "Well, I guess, yeah"
And from Luke L., “You’re going to have to mark that.” - when you don’t believe someone can actually do it.
His example:
"I’ll clean the kitchen." - Me
"You’re going to have to mark that." - Wife
"You’re going to have to mark that." - Wife
Two clear frontrunners
YOU'RE ALL ABOUT MAX AND NELLY
I was fascinated by the lists people sent in listing their favorite five golfers and figured that there'd be at least 5-10 names that would all be somewhat even as the frontrunners.
But while the variety was certainly there, two stood out above the rest and made probably 90% of your lists—Max Homa and Nelly Korda.
As I was googling around to find a picture of them both, it revealed a press conference a few months ago where Max talked about getting the opportunity to play a full 18 with Nelly for the first time and just how impressed he was.
"I asked her while we were playing how anyone ever beats her... Nelly’s playing from our tees, and it was tremendous. And I remember her answer was I need to go see Lydia Ko play, and these others, and I realized that I just haven’t got to see it as much, but I’m still fairly curious how she ever does lose, because she didn’t miss a golf shot for seven holes."
A rant I tend to go on every fiscal quarter or so is always centered around wanting more opportunities to see the top men and women play alongside one another in events. And this quote from Max makes me question the traditional logic surrounding men vs. women in golf and whether any women would stand a chance.
I get the distance argument. The professional men drive the ball longer than professional women—and it puts women at a disadvantage when playing from the same tees. But the more I watch LPGA, the more I wonder that if you figured out how to make the distance of the tee even—the top LPGA players would wipe the floor with the men. Just a thought.
Your new favorite golf playlist is live!
THE OFFICIAL BREAKFAST BALLS PLAYLIST
Introducing... Now That's What I Call Breakfast Balls!
A bottomless buffet of great golfing music. A true Breakfast Balls community effort, there will be a run of songs for every taste, vibe, and handicap.
My goals for this Spotify playlist are two-fold:
1) Every taste will eventually be covered by a section of this playlist. So whether you're trying to match the mood of a course or the energy you want to feel mid-round—there will be something for you.
And Spotify generated playlists are so good now, I'd encourage you to grab that run of 10 or so songs, drop it into your own mix and let the music gods do their thing.
2) It will always be evolving. Day one this is very much my own tastes plus reader requests. But I already know old school hip hop and country need some major love.
So please send in suggestions, I'll drop them in. As new genres pop up, I'll weave them around so we can look back at Issue 300 with enough music to last an entire golf trip without hearing a song repeated.
$200 for Issue 200...
ENTER TO WIN GRAND PRIZE
As a final thank you, I got the green light from HQ to give out a $200 gift card to commemorate Issue 200.
The ask is simple, click the button below to enter. And if you have already sent in an answer to any of my questions over the last few weeks, you're already entered!
Entries will close on Monday, July 8th at 9am PST. I'll select one reader at random and email them directly by the end of the day Monday. Limit one entry per person.
You're welcome to add any additional commentary, qualms, or kudos to your email but ultimately the choice will random draw. Besides, we can't all be like Tammy M aka "Wisco Tam"...
"Here I am again, laughing out loud in my cheese procurement cubicle every Friday. Eight guys who taste cheese all day and me in a 20x40 office is no joke. But two words and they know… Breakfast Balls. Best golf content - without exception... Now let me know where to send your cheese tray. It’s a fairway finder for sho."
Have a Breakfast Balls-worthy tip? Reading any good golf books? Want to play some G?
Hit me up! The hot line is always open.
Want to re-heat some leftover Breakfast Balls?
Check out our blog and dig in.
