Poor Lucas...
#RELATABLE
Can someone get Lucas Glover some performance fabric? My man took down the playoff in Memphis last week with a level of sweat that someone on social media who I can no longer find called akin to "a greasy bag of french fries." And I can't un-see it.
Look, I try not to be mean-spirited in this newsletter, and so please know that I am uniquely suited to discuss the following topic because I am, in fact, a sweaty dude. Excessively so, some could say.
The line I'd use in my early 20's to respond to the concerned-looking faces as I poured a meme-level amount of sweat at poorly ventilated social gatherings was that "I am just a passionate guy. This is just extra passion you're seeing pouring out of me. What can I say?"
One of the first few dates I ever went on with my wife, we were at a sushi bar and within three seconds of my first bite into a wasabi dabbed spicy tuna on crispy rice... I proceeded to break out into a level of sweating that she has since dubbed "code red."
All this to say, it ain't pretty. So can we just agree that if the temperatures are creating winner's images like this... could someone at least toss the guy a fresh pair of khakis before trophy time?
Or what about allowing shorts when the heat index is above a certain level? When I was a CBS page, ushering in audiences for the Price Is Right in 100 degree heat while wearing a red, polyester jacket—even THEY allowed us to take the jacket off. (For those wondering, yes, I spent a lot of "passionate" days working that job. It was awesome.)
Sweaty pants lead to hot... I'll let you finish that joke on your own...
SO SHOULD GOLF BALL WARMERS BE A THING??
This stat is pretty mind-blowing to me.
MyGolfSpy, a website dedicated to testing every piece of golf equipment imaginable, performed a study around whether the temperature of a ball affects its performance.
A study that's particularly of note because of how brutal this summer has been. Am I spoiled in San Diego because the "brutal heat" I'm describing is slightly uncomfortable humidity on 80 degree days? Sure. But also, I see the weather map and, as a man of the people, this is for the 99% of the country who are FEELIN it.
I can't get over this number. 20 yards!!! Maybe pros are already doing this and I'm just catching up, but I feel like the play is to throw a couple sleeves of balls in front of the car heater during winter month rounds. Or maybe stash one of those "crack to activate" hand warmers in the bag to keep 'em toasty mid-round? If it's getting me 20 yards more, that's certainly an easier fix than actually working on my swing...
From hot balls to places that are hot AS balls
TAYLORMADE'S GETTING FRISC-Y
Getting a ton of play on golf social media this week was the latest announcement out of the PGA's HQ in Frisco, Texas.
Pictured above is the concept imagery from TaylorMade's newest venture, a golf resort called Bays Golf Experience and Suites—opening in spring 2025.
The concept is basically TopGolf, but it's inside your hotel suite. Yes, you'll simply open the slider doors of your suite and can immediately start launching shots.
Reports are that there will be 24 hitting bay suites... which is JUST a couple hundred less than you see in the concept image above... and the facility will also boast 25,000 square feet of putting and chipping greens. (Does anyone else have absolutely zero concept of how big square feet are? Anything five figures and above and my mind pictures about ten football stadiums.)
And for the most Texas amenity imaginable, Bays Golf Experience and Suites will have a 100-foot wide TV screen—the largest... in North Texas. Which I can only assume is an indirect shot at the Cowboy's jumbotron inside of Jerry World.
Feedback from the Bad Birdie team on Frisco, Texas...
"October to December is actually ok."
Book it.
Looking to the banana for inspo
MINOR LEAGUE GOLF?
I've been thinking a lot recently about golf tournaments (...hint-hint...) and what new and innovative ideas could help freshen up the sport. Not in a "let's change the pro game" kind of a way, but more around what kinds of formats would make golf interesting to a whole new audience?
And this week, I came across an IG from the Savannah Bananas that stopped me in my scroll.
Most of us have likely seen them on the wacky clips portion of Sportscenter or House of Highlights. They're the Harlem Globetrotters-esque baseball team that has pitchers wearing kilts and costumes, side shows in the dugouts, and a list of nine "Banana Rules" unique to their games. Those rules? (Click here for more detail, in case you care.)
1) Every inning counts—whoever scores the most runs in an inning gets a point. The first team to five points wins.
2) A time limit of two hours. No inning starts after the game gets to be two hours old.
3) No stepping out of the batter’s box.
4) No bunting.
5) Batters can steal first.
6) No walks.
7) A one-on-one showdown tiebreaker.
8) No mound visits from any coaches or players.
9) If a fan catches a foul ball, it’s an out.
Which got me thinking, if golf were to create a minor league built for entertainment over earning a spot in the pros... what would some fun rules be?
My Favorites, in no particular order:
- No practice swings
- Put a second mini-sized hole on every green. The hole measures just wider than a golf ball. If a player sinks a putt in the smaller cup, they earn an extra stroke off score. (The money ball cup, if you will.)
- No caddies
- If a ball exits the field of play into spectator areas, the closest spectator gets to throw the ball back into play. Fan favorites? Get a toss into the fairway or onto the green. Villains? Into the bunker they go!
- Mario Golf/Quidditch style hoop near the green. If a player is able to thread their ball through the hoop on approach, they earn a mulligan for use later in round.
HAVE AN IDEA YOURSELF? EMAIL ME!
(Let's just say, I'm in the market for fun, Breakfast Balls-worthy, tournament twists...)
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