Before we get into it this week, just wanted to take a moment of appreciation and acknowledgement for each and every one of you! We hit an absolutely massive milestone this week that's admittedly a bit behind the scenes but significant to me nonetheless.
Breakfast Balls has 100,000 readers!
It is both humbling and heartwarming to have watched the numbers grow every week. All your amazing emails. All your kind words of encouragement when me and the team see you IRL. And the time you choose to spend each week reading this funny little column.
So while I'll stop there so we can get to the content you're actually here for, a sincere thank you to everyone! Let's take this thing to the next level!
BAGGERS BEWARE
Golf Digest reposted this infographic from a golf data analyst, Lou Stagner—highlighting the probability of certain handicaps to have a net score below par.
This... absolutely rocked my brain.
For those who may not know, I run a golf league with a buddy of mine out of Los Angeles called Tiny Putters. We host monthly tournaments with net and gross pots. So we've seen some net scores alright. But the probabilities here should have a lot of baggers shakin' and the rest of us who walk away with +1 and E feeling a bit better about ourselves.
I lead with this infographic mostly as a public service announcement for the next time a 17 handicap walks into the clubhouse with a net -6 so you can know JUST how insane that round was... and give them the sus eyes accordingly.
And also a gentle reminder to flight your tournaments..
Introducing the Buddy Bader Invitational
BETHPAGE DOUBLE BLACK DIAMOND?
Golf Digest going baaaaack to back like they're Jordan '96, '97, whoa. (Little Drake drop for those paying attention.)
They profiled a tournament that's been running three years now up in Jackson Hole, WY named the Buddy Bader Invitational. Essentially this crew starts at the top of the double black diamond Corbet's Couloir at Jackson Hole Mountain Resort and launches balls down the cliff face. Which looks about as epic as it sounds.
Some light Googling revealed, well, not much about Buddy. From what I can gather Buddy is a dude who loves skiing and was potentially opposed to a Wyoming Public Lands Initiative plan as evidenced by a news photo from a local paper.
And before you all roast em for hitting golf balls into the abyss and ruining the ski runs, the balls are marked, oversized, and collected by participants further down the slope.
Click through the image above for some sweet videos.
I will NOT see you there next year because I have never been able to stay upright on any trail rated above Blue Triangle or whatever the mildly thrilling level of ski trails are named.
Fun Fact: I actually unknowingly skiied a black diamond level run in the Swiss Alps when I studied abroad and it took me a full 8 hour day to make it down once without falling. One time. 8 hours. One time.
Two of my friends made it down the first "bunny level" slope of the run before giving up and hiking back UP the hill to take the gondola back down. It was miserable—but memorable.
This week on r/golf
INNOVATIONS IN "BALL GOLF"
How about Reddit getting a little facelift? Sooooo what do we think? It's giving, we tried to lighten things up so people don't think this is just a snarky forum for annoying people to poke fun at well-meaning golf writers who only want to know what's hip, funny or interesting.
Anyways, I saw this warm-up hole idea on my feed this week and, as Bill Simmons might say, it's probably one of the top 4 golf innovations I've seen in the last 11 years. (What is it with Simmons always wanting to rank things with odd numbers and arbitrary dates? Anyone notice that? Once you do, you can't un-hear it. So apologies in advance to those who listen to him a lot like myself.)
But seeing this picture posted to the disc golf thread with the label "ball golf" had me rolling. It isn't terribly off-mark either in a world where there is foot golf, disc golf, and ball golf. Yeah, that tracks.
And on the warm-up hole front—I love it. Full-stop. Give me a Breakfast Ball hole on every course. It can be a par 3 even. Just a no expectations chance to throw a worm burner out there for guys who maybe can't play all that often anymore because their son is taking his sweet time with the whole walking and talking and holding a club on their own as they walk a course with you thing.
As if you needed more reasons to love him...
MAX HOMA: THE TL;DR
GOLF.com's cover star this month is none other than the PGA's darling Max Homa. If you've got the time, their feature length piece by Full Swing talking head Dylan Dethier is worth the time.
But as the now 10+ year old meme stated best, ain't nobody got time for that! So I'm happy to be your TL;DR filter and present a 4-piece nugget combo of my favorite quotes and anecdotes for your reading pleasure. (Speaking of nuggets, just got wind that McD's released a limited edition Big Mac dipping sauce which has the potential to at least push Hot Mustard for top nugg sauce. And with the wife out of town on a bachelorette party, you KNOW Jack and I are hitting that up ASAP.)
Homa Nugget 1)
Whisper Rock private golf club in Scottsdale, where Dylan casually met Max for the interview... that Full Swing treatment!... apparently has an egg-roll salad which is Max's favorite. Dylan drops this in there a few times, I assume for color, but the emphasis makes me wonder if it's legit? Though I don't know if I've ever liked the color of the inside of an egg roll—heavy on the beige. So the salad I have in my mind looks sad and lifeless.
Homa Nugget 2)
Homa held a PGA Tour card twice before his current run. Once in 2015 before relegation back to the Korn Ferry. Again in 2017 before the same cycle happened and sent him back to the Korn Ferry. After the second relegation, he quotes Homa saying; "I think one tournament I lost 14 shots to the field in total driving. It’s just like, ‘What are you doing out here, dude?'"
Homa Nugget 3)
Massive LA guy, which you likely knew. But he mentions that he was inspired by the Stonecutter's Creed that hung next to Kobe's locker. "Look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet, at the hundred and first blow, it will split in two, and I know it was not the last blow that did it, but all that had gone before."
Homa Nugget 4)
He's obsessive about golf. Dylan mentions that between shots on the feature shoot he'd be rehearsing his swing and said he was working on "opening the door knob." Which, after a brief perusal is just the kind of swing thought that I will convince myself is the difference maker... and in three weeks will have completely ruined my swing.
Speaking of GOLF.com and Dylan...
HUMBLE BRAG MOMENT!
Look who's listed just a mere row (or three) beneath Dylan on the GOLF.com writers page? That's ya boy reppin' Bad Birdie HARD. Let the campaign to become a talking head on Full Swing season 3 begin!
And if you ever wonder who it is that writes the Best Of lists for the golf sites... welp, surprise! It me. Peruse at your leisure—and let me know your thoughts! Always taking reccs for great equipment.
I'll also mention I have a pretty killer day job, too. Some may say I'm a man of many talents. And that "some" is me. I say I have lots of talents.
Humble brag, out.
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