MY TOP 5 MASTERS WINNERS
The biggest early week bombshell to come from the Masters dinner was NOT about what LIV feuds were stirred up around the pristine white linen'd table. In fact, rumors are Phil said nothing and that entire story was a big nothing burger...
Instead it was all about actual burgers. Scottie-style, it turns out, was not my prediction of burgers served on roller skates but rather just burgers with fries on top. Furthering the narrative that Scottie simply copy pasted a Red Robin menu.
Though it did get me thinking, in a world where you've likely read 100,000 different lists of writers' Masters picks, let's choose my top 5 picks based solely off their hypothetical dinner menu.
MY TOP 5 MASTERS (DINNER) PICKS
5) Tony Finau
More on my guy Tony later when we dive back into the Full Swing recaps. But I think he would knock a Masters menu out of the park. I could see him going full Samoan with some banana leaf roasted meats or fish. But we also know he's got a bit of a taste for the high-low as he infamously followed up a celebratory dinner at Ruth's Chris steakhouse with a 3am McDonald's run. A true dinner wild card and I'd love to see what he picked.
4) John Rahm
This Spaniard is going with tapas for all! While my wife will likely remind me of my (allegedly) insane quirks around sharing food at group tables and the intense anxiety that comes with ensuring everyone gets at least a bite of every "shared dish" and/or the polite stand-offs that occur when the dish only has one bite remaining... When the theme of the meal is tapas, then load 'em up and keep 'em comin'. Spiced meats. Saffron shrimp. Cheeses and mini bites galore. Flip the format on its head John and do the damn thing!
3) Tom Kim
My god, give me Korean food 10/10 times. I'm imagining maybe some bulgogi action. Perhaps they wheel out some BBQ setups for everyone to form their own KBBQ foursomes. A smokin' hot cast iron of cheese buldak. I also think it'd be hilarious to watch some of these older champs try to figure out what to make of the banchan dishes. Why am I getting this little dish of potato salad?
2) Brooks Koepka
This pick comes with an actual, honest-to-goodness, insider tip. Because, while I dream about myself as a golf journalist, in reality, I'm just a guy who writes like your buddies do on your group text thread and occasionally throws in updates about his kid. (Jack's doing great, and knows how to hit a golf ball with a plastic club... sooo I'm pumped.)
However, in this instance, I have on good authority that his private chef and Breakfast Balls enthusiast? (Chef Nogee waddup!) is an absolute legend. And she deserves a crack at the infamous menu.
1) Collin Morikawa
Beyond being the most widely Googled result for "PGA Foodies", my Collin pick is reflective of a nugget I picked up while listening to Bill Simmons podcast on Thursday. David Chang joined the crew to reveal that he has a personal connection with the Pasadena-native Morikawa and the idea was lightly tossed around for him to reach out and create the menu for Collin were he to win this year.
Which brings up a larger idea of winners tapping celebrity chefs to create their menu and I'm here for it. Who has the bigger rolodex!
Move that bus!
EXTREME COURSE MAKEOVER: AUGUSTA-EDITION
An odd news story that emerged from Augusta this week—as detailed in the Golf Digest article linked to the image above—was about a local muny named The Patch.
In a press conference on Wednesday, Augusta National chairman Fred Ridley announced that they'd be partnering with the muny for a complete renovation.
The catch? No one seemed to have told The Patch.
Their GM and head pro were interviewed for the Golf Digest piece and basically were like, welp we don't quite know what to think because this was the first we were hearing of it.
The piece calls out that, in the shadow of Augusta National's we'll say uhhh "past issues with inclusivity", The Patch was the only course in town during the days of segregation that welcomed the club's black caddies.
"It’s great because people don’t care who you are or where you come from, it’s open to all.”
So while, in theory, the partnership could be huge for the local track in making much-needed course maintenance upgrades and some face lifts to the clubhouse and facilities. There was a larger question around whether the partnership would change the character of the course and end up raising the rates at one of the last remaining affordable courses in town.
I guess more to come? But kinda wild imagining just kicking your feet up at the starter's window of a rundown muny, watching some Masters coverage to essentially hear that you won the financing lottery!
Wholesome content alert!
THE TRADITION UNLIKE ANY OTHER DURING THE TRADITION UNLIKE ANY OTHER
Is there a more wholesome event in sports than the Wednesday Par 3 challenge at The Masters?
It's a rhetorical question. There is not. So here are a few of my favorite pics with limited commentary. (Photos courtesy of an Augusta Chronicle piece)
Don't do it.
I mean, come on...
(Plenty more Tony love inbound, too.)
Anyone else's arms sore just by looking at this pic?
Jack's been super into sand toys and feeling like this is a glimpse into my future. Don't hate it.
Full Swing: Episode 6
MY WATCHALONG RECAP-APALOOZA
And now for the section that continues to grow more obsolete by the week. These are my Full Swing Episode 6 thoughts.
In this week's edition, Netflix tells us we'll be following both Morikawa and Tony Finau but it's evident very quickly that there's really only one guy who's giving main character energy.
- In honor of the Masters, I'll never forget when I first learned of Tony Finau from his hole-in-one at the Par 3 contest in 2018 and then subsequently dislocated his ankle during his celebration. THEN went on to finish top 10. Truly an iconic way to burst onto the scene.
- And continuing my high hopes for a killer Masters menu it looks like my man Tony is cookin' up some Nutella french toast sandwiches for breakfast?!?!? Iconic AND an innovator—he's got it all.
- Didn't need to hear anything else from Tony's dad to know the legend gene is clearly strong in the Finau family. His quote? "Dumbest game ever. Tennis is so much easier."
- Netlfix editors at it again. From the streets of SLC to Collin's dog wearing mittens on a PJ. (PJ = private jet for those who don't follow Vanderpump Rules. BTW... y'all following Vanderpump Rules?!? SCANDOVAL! I digress.)
- Collin's comment on the glove fitting too tightly in one seam around the thumb has my ears perked for jerk-alert but we'll give him the benefit of the doubt because I got to stay true to my SoCal crew.
- Tony's hot pink lewk was fire. I'll say it.
- This Morikawa Adidas gear meeting is wild. I guess I knew these kinds of meetings happened, but seeing one for real was awesome. It's got the gears turnin' in my head as well, as I don't think Bucket Hat Bill has ever extended this courtesy to myself... what? Am I not Morikawa good enough for you, Bill?!?!
- Genuinely curious when the thrill wears off on winning stuff like the Claret Jug. If you get to hang onto it for a year... when does it go from, damn, I WON THIS THING—to just another thing on the shelf that you get annoyed has to be polished and dusted every few days?
- I get that Netflix wants to raise the stakes about how we talk about each player, but we've got to cool it on the "next Tiger" stuff. Show me multiple years of continued dominance before we even breathe the word Tiger.
- Loved the Amanda interview of Tony post-win... in front of what appears to be an old set from Nickelodeon's What Would You Do? Seeing the radioactive sign on a lime green inflatable brought back so many childhood memories. Can someone get this man a real backdrop?
- Detroit's fist statue is easily one of my favorite civic installations. A list I actually have zero interest in creating but I love it nonetheless. Put that fist alongside my beloved Chicago's silver bean and it's no contest.
OVERALL RATING: 8/10 - I honestly didn't need Collin at all in this one. Tony carried it and this can be put alongside Dahmen's for best case scenario for a Full Swing episode.
Your homework for this week:
Episode 7
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