Iss. #73 | Snappin' Drivers & Crypto Country Clubs

Iss. #73 | Snappin' Drivers & Crypto Country Clubs

After some much needed R&R, I am thrilled to be back with you all for another season of Breakfast Balls.

 Before we jump in, I highly suggest playing Mase - Welcome Back on repeat—just like I used to blast out of my 2003 Hyundai Tiburon every time I came home from college on break. The vibes always hit.

 Let's get it.


You raised $11 million for what now?...

THE FYRE FEST OF "COUNTRY CLUBS"

Okay, so I have a sneaky hunch that many of you have some strong opinions on crypto... who doesn't at this point, I guess? But this latest crypto play may be the most insane to me.

 About as worthless as the cover image golf.com chose for their article on this crypto country club—it seems that some dude from Connecticut raised $11 MILLION DOLLARS from the crypto community to start a digital country club. The catch? THERE IS NO GOLF COURSE OR COUNTRY CLUB!

 At the risk of going full-on curmudgeon, can anyone in their right mind explain to me what is valuable here? This dude (who I won't name because I am not super clear on libel laws and figure this is enough to cover me, but also there is nothing false here so whatever...) is promising a country club, at some point, somewhere? But for now, just give him your money and he promises he will try his hardest to find a golf course for you all to play.

 I mean, I have to stop here because I'm just getting too worked up at how absurd this is. Just, be careful with crypto people. Please.  

 Side note - I'm starting up a Bad Birdie Country Club myself, no course, no perks but the vibes are 150% higher guaranteed. Just Venmo me or whatever.


Here's the real lead story!
MR. KRABS GOES GOLFING

.Week 1 of Breakfast Balls 2022 and we've already got absolute FIRE wildlife on the course content.

 This submission came courtesy of a 3am Slack from Bucket Hat Bill.

 (What was he doing up at 3a? Don't ask. Does he know what work-life boundaries are? Give him a break, he was excited for me. And rightly so...)

The original footage is from 2020 but it was recently posted to Reddit by this Australian dude's son.

 What we're looking at is a Robber Crab that this golfer found latched onto his driver after they returned from the putting green. In true Australian fashion, the guy picks up said crab with insanely powerful, bone-snapping claws and tries desperately to save his driver. Only to watch it snap the club in half and walk away without a single care in the world.

 And the worst I have to deal with is a pesky squirrel or two ripping holes in the bottom of my sunflower seed bag... 2022 is the year of perspective, folks.

 Bonus comedy in that the NY Post article on said interaction begins with just the pun Crabbyshack. All alone. On one line. No context. Ben Cost reallllllly was feeling himself after that one apparently. Good on ya Ben.


Golf Digest's dates to circle in 2022
 GET YOUR CALENDARS OUT

I love when Golf Digest puts out these lists of important dates on the golf cal—mostly because I'm lazy and don't wait to look it up for myself, but ALSO because there are some really cool new tournaments and formats to consider.

 Easily the most intriguing new event added to the 2022 golf calendar is the Inaugural US Adaptive Open Championship from July 18-20.

 Playing the No. 6 Course at Pinehurst, this 54-hole event is open to men and women who have a physical, sensory or intellectual impairment.

 For an organization like the USGA who is often viewed as reluctant to embrace change—this is a huge step in the right direction towards making golf both accessible and welcoming to everyone.


What's new on BBTV
What's new on BBTV

Hozel rockets in flight, afternoon delight!  

 (Taking a page out of Ben Cost from the NY Post playbook and going to let my favorite lines sit alone for a bit.)  

 Don't let the luscious locks fool you—Krooks is human like the rest of us.

 Nothing like kicking the year off with a complete meltdown. And boy is it a MELTDOWN.

Poor, Krooks. Golf is really all he has.


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