WHO THROWS A TEE??
The popular (but disappointing) story from this week is the lazily named "Tee-Gate" that transpired at the Dubai stop of the DP World Tour.
Can we move away from "-Gate" as a nickname? In a world so tickled by puns, calling anything "-Gate" is just so blah.
RORY TEE'D OFF?
THE RORY/REED TEE-FF EXPOSED
TICKED AND FLICKED: REED STORMS OFF
Not saying mine are all that great, but at least they're something. At least I'm TRYING!
(And for anyone who understood my "Who Throws a Tee??" headline is an Austin Powers reference, let's golf some time, we'd be great friends.)
Okay, so what actually happened?
No one did it better than golf.com who posted a tongue in cheek rundown of everything. Including a Kennedy assassination-esque screenshot of the actual tee throw.
My own TLDR; highlights are:
- This entire incident unfolded like a true crime story. The headline at first was Patrick Reed throws a tee at Rory on the range.
- Then we learned from footage that, actually, he casually, jokingly tossed a tee into and around Rory's vicinity.
- Then as reporters pressed the two on what the incident was about, both responded with exasperated "Really? You're making this a thing?"
- THEN we learned the juiciest bit, Patrick Reed filed yet another lawsuit that required Rory to be subpoenaed—on Christmas Eve... not great.
- Fun note: Tiger is also subpoenaed but his security teams have continued to block him being actually served. Iconic.
- And finally, the reporters pressed Reed enough times that they drew a spicy-adjacent quote from him as he called Rory "an immature little child."
Whatever.
It's my sincere hope that the only time you've wasted on this story this week was reading this section of Breakfast Balls.
Homa remains undefeated
LOVE GOLF TWITTER
I wish Max, Collin, and the Twitter-active pros were my actual friends.
In other Morikawa news...
THE "OTHER" "OTHER GOLF LEAGUE" GROWS
TGL - aka Tiger and Rory's new golf league/primetime show launching in January 2024 - announced two new pros to their roster.
Joining Tiger, Rory, JT and Rahm will be Collin Morikawa (seamless Breakfast Balls transition, thank you very much) and honorary Scott—Adam Scott.
The format promises 6 teams competing in a weekly two hour format and with this kind of star power already locked in, I'd imagine these names are likely our 6 team captains—SOLID.
Pumped for this.
Introducing: The Two-Sport Tour
HOW ABOUT ANOTHER "OTHER" "OTHER GOLF LEAGUE"?
I was inspired by Gareth Bale's glowing reviews from the Pro-Am before the Farmers Insurance Open this week. Jon Rahm's quote? Gareth has "no business being that good."
And this got me thinking, while The Match attempted to show us what it'd be like to watch pro athletes compete at golf, what I am actually craving is a mini-Tour of sorts where fans can watch and follow a larger roster of current and former athletes playing one another.
Imagine a field including Gareth Bale, Steph, Romo, Barkley, Mahomes, Rodgers, etc. etc. I think if it were a two-day event at famous courses, I'd watch every second of it.
And from the sound of it, it wouldn't take much to get them into it either. Would be awesome to watch new-to-golf pros like Dwayne Wade get better through the season—perhaps even a team format?
Plus, by following a wider tournament field, we can avoid the awkwardness that plagued The Match when you had nothing to fill the time besides forced, cringey, alpha-male banter between them on the tee box. Any dead air? Cut to another hole.
ESPN? TNT? The CW? My phone line is wide open. Though, I'll probably not answer anyways because what maniac is answering calls from unknown numbers???
We out here.
WELCOME TO THE SHOW!
Comic-Con for golf nerds. It's The PGA Show 2023 baby!!
And we out here. On the off chance you're here, too—come say waddup?
While most of the hype congregates around the equipment companies dropping their latest and greatest, my favorite recap so far comes courtesy of Gavin Parker aka @gavinflo on "the socials."
He calls out some sort of golf watch that gives you an electric shock when you mis-hit. A technology well-traveled in the dog training circuits but one that has yet to catch on in human circles outside of the occasional ziregolf repost.
And my favorite moment of his recap comes at the very end when Gavin fires the potato cannon for golf balls and marvels at the kick back in a way that makes me think it's not only significant but also somewhat painful.
There's something in the way he says: "You ain't tell me about that [kickback], Ralph!"
And you can just imagine Ralph, wearing his Microsoft Office 365 golf polo and carrying his Blackberry tote bag, standing to the side grinning ear to ear.
SWWWAAAAAGGGGGGGGG
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