Well, well, well—after 102 issues, guess who finally earned the honor to drop an exclusive polo for BB readers?!?!
Me!
And it's not just an exclusive polo, I got the team to bring back an absolutely legendary design from the vaults for a limited run. (Why? Because you requested it, like, a lot...)
Allow me to re-introduce thyself
FRESCO
Fresco belongs on the Bad Birdie Mount Rushmore of designs. Tasteful florals, attention-demanding salmon background, and just enough green and blue in the tropical leaves to make my eyes pop.
And so I'm dropping it today.
As a limited run.
For Breakfast Balls readers only.
Grab yours now before it gets locked away like those old Disney movies in a vault somewhere, chillin' with Little Mermaid and The Rescuers Down Under.
Have another design you want to see brought back from the vault? Hit me up. I mean, it worked once!
Speaking of Mount Rushmore material
BRUUUUUUUUCE
I've thrown a lot of random calls out to the world in these Breakfast Balls issues, asking you to invite me to that one Montana course from The Match, getting night golf reccs across the country for when I finally put my "Tour de Scott" together and meet you all, and perhaps my most noble attempt was pleading the world to send me Bruce Bibb. Most of my pleas, ignored. But today, I bring a tale of success.
Who's Bruce Bibb?
Besides being this handsome-faced, tastefully shaven, classic grey suit with the pink tie wearin' man you see above... Bruce also WON the pro-am event at this year's Phoenix Open in a Bad Birdie polo, in our own backyard. And I've been searching for him ever since.
And now, I'm proud to proclaim that Bruce hit me back! So I threw a little Q&A together to get to know the guy who lives in the halls of BB infamy.
Meet Bruce
Favorite Polo?
Salty Savage (no surprise here, see picture below)
Most Hated Club in the Bag?
Putter - "F that thing..."
Any Fun Facts to Share?
- I have more bonsai trees than Mr. Miyagi.
- I went jet skiing in the open ocean during a Cat 4 hurricane.
- I once did the worm as my special skill in a job interview.
(One of these may be from me as wishful thinking...)
I hope you got a big trunk,
BECAUSE I'M PUTTING MY BIKE IN IT
You can almost hear the rage oozing from every adult member of the Fort Lauderdale CC as they have to arrive each day to see Mateo's bike parked in the Men's club champion spot.
While the story is fantastic on so many levels, I got most excited by this story because it reminded me of the quote referenced above from 40 Year Old Virgin and then I got to thinking about the foundational movies that you watch as a teen/college-aged kid which ultimately form the basis for your own comedy for the rest of your life.
My top five? So happy you asked!
1) 40 Year Old Virgin
2) Super Troopers
3) Wedding Crashers
4) Dumb and Dumber
5) Tommy Boy
Honorable mentions: Superbad, Anchorman and Dodgeball
Unintentional comedy is the best
CLAIRE'S COURSE—GO BOTH WAYS!
I want to say I saw mention of this golf resort in golf.com? But now I can't find the link so apologies to whoever first posted this place.
What caught my eye about Silvies Golf Resort and Spa in eastern Oregon, was two things.
First, the reversible 18 hole mini golf track they have on property called Clair's Courses. Named after the first woman to play golf in Silvies Valley. An odd distinction admittedly, but hey, whatever works.
Checked their site to find the headline above. To which I quietly sighed and shook my head, they meant well. So wholesome in theory, but ya got to run this kind of copy by, well, anyone for the gut check. Sorry, Claire.
Second thing that caught my eye, however, was that this resort actually seems legit. Prices are fantastic at only $678 per night for all inclusive golf, spa, lodging, meals, the works! They've got four different courses on property, plus the mini golf track.
CUT TO: Me Googling flights to Seneca, Oregon.
Updates from the LIV
GOTTA SAY—IN THEORY, I ACTUALLY LIKE THE IDEAS
News emerged this week of some format updates for the LIV 2023 season and, frankly, while the execution has been litigated at length by anyone and everyone in golf media... the ideas, I enjoy quite a bit.
THE UPDATES:
- 14 Total Events - they cap it there to allow players to go to international events, majors, etc. And just like I enjoy the limited number of games in an NFL season, knowing that there will be only 14 events is nice from a fan perspective.
- Relegation and Promotion events - not unlike international soccer leagues, there will be one event that will allow new players to enter the LIV field of 48. And at the end of the season, the lowest performers will be relegated. Simple, effective, and for once, actual stakes to this all.
- Locked Teams for the season - Massive update. I hated that each event this season has featured new teams every time. It allows for no fan loyalty and felt arbitrary. Rumors already swirling around team captains tagging in their buddies to join their teams and the outcome could be an interesting hybrid between owner-led teams and character-driven alliances between buddies.
The massive caveat to this all? Still no real stakes as I know that the stars are getting paid massively regardless, and the events thus far have felt a bit ho-hum because of it. Certainly something that could change, but if I'm getting paid 9 figures already, what does winning another $4M really matter?
Let's flip on some BBTV
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?... STARS PLAYING GOLF
There are two checkpoints that officially mark the beginning of my seasonal obsession with fantasy football each year, the first? Hard Knocks premiere. (AUGUST 9TH!!)
The second? Our annual battle of Bad Birdie v. the NFL. And if you didn't catch it earlier this week, we have reached our first checkpoint people!!
Bill and Krooks were off to Florida to square off with Jordan Poyer and Adrian Colbert for ultimate athletic superiority.
Have a Breakfast Balls-worthy tip? Secrets to teaching an infant to love golf from day one?
Hit me up! The hot line is always open.
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